


A Call to the Light

by kelseycurtis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Attempted Murder, Bad Ending, Bondage, Comfort Sex, Crying, Dirty Talk, Drama, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feels, Flashbacks, Fluff, Force Bondage, Glove Kink, Hair-pulling, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Men Crying, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Romance, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Verbal Humiliation, i dont condone abuse, im bad at tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-05-29 00:37:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6351931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelseycurtis/pseuds/kelseycurtis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cora and Ben were best friends and trained together until he became Kylo Ren, Cora will stop at nothing to get her friend back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi chapter Star Wars fic. Forgive my awful tagging, awful title and awful summary.

Chapter 1

Cora’s P.O.V

I groaned, clutching my head and coming back with a sticky, hot substance. Blood. My vision cleared and I forced myself to get up. I steadied myself against a fallen pillar and took a deep breath. Get it together Cora. I remembered being in the Jedi temple when I heard the screams of my friends and the familiar hum and cracks of a lightsaber. That’s when the roof had collapsed on me and now here I was. Thankfully a pillar had gotten stuck and shielded me from the rest of the debris so no broken bones. I needed to find Master Luke and any survivors. 

I took a couple of steps to the room all the padawans had all shared, my head spinning again. I took another deep breath, leaning against a cracked wall. I crawled and climbed through the wreckage until I reached the room. The door had been ripped off its hinges and I dreaded what was going to be in that room. But I had to see. I had to know. I stepped in to the room and screamed at what I saw. My friend’s corpses. The tears came hot and heavy and I fell to my knees. What monster would do this? To children of all people. 

I composed myself and left the temple. I searched the darkness, finding two different glows. A small, warm orange glow which meant fire. And a brighter blue light. I felt some sort of relief wash over me as I realised it was Master Luke’s droid R2-D2. I moved as fast as I could, finding a hooded figure next to the droid. I made a move to grab my saber just in case they meant to harm me.  
“There no need for that Cora,” Master Luke spoke, his words heavy with despair.  
I breathed a sigh of relief and sat with him. His expression was unreadable. 

“What happened? Why aren’t we doing anything?” I asked.  
“There’s nothing we can do.”  
“Who did this?”  
Master Luke actually looked at me this time. He was debating whether to tell me or not.  
“Ben,” he answered.  
I gasped in shock. No. This couldn’t be. My best friend wouldn’t do that. He had no reason to do any of this. I shook my head, refusing to believe it. But why would Master Luke lie? He had no reason too. 

I heard the familiar sound of a ship landing. That must be help. It had to be. Then there was the screech of a lightsaber being turned on. I looked past Master Luke to find Ben dressed in black and carrying an unfinished red saber. He had shown it to me a while ago, a project he had been working on he said. I should have seen the signs. I should have done something or told someone as soon as Ben told me about this ‘Supreme Leader Snoke’. I got to my feet, drawing my saber.  
“Cora don’t. Go now,” Master Luke ordered.  
“No. I’m not leaving you master. I can take him,” I protested.  
In my heart I knew that was a lie. There was no way I could kill my best friend. It made me feel weak. I shouldn’t let my emotions get in the way.

“Don’t argue! Go!” Luke snapped.  
I jumped a little, he had never raised his voice to me. I turned and ran in the direction of the ship. What I found was the Falcon, Chewie waiting for me outside. Oh god, I hadn’t thought of his actual family. Chewie greeted me sadly and I began to sob in to his fur. He picked me up and carried me inside. No sooner we were aboard the Falcon took off. Chewie placed me down on the medical bunk and began patching up the wound on my head.

Leia entered the room, her eyes red from crying. This only made me cry harder, putting my head in my hands.  
“I’m so sorry Mrs Solo. This is all my fault,” I wept.  
She knelt in front of me and took my hands in hers. Her face was full of sympathy.  
“None of this is your fault Cora,” she said soothingly.  
“But it is. I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t say anything. He made me promise not to.”  
“About what?”  
“Someone called Snoke had been talking to him and offering all the power he could want. The whole galaxy too. I’m so sorry.”

Leia pulled me in to her arms, stroking my hair and shushing me how only a mother would. I had never really experienced that. Being an orphan had been awful. But being sent to the Jedi temple was the best thing to happen to me. I was given a life, a purpose and friends. But all of that was gone now. I had no idea where we were going or what we were going to do. To be honest I didn’t care anymore. It felt like a part of me was gone. I just wanted my friend back. 

5 years later

I awoke screaming, covered in cold sweat. Same as every night. Same damn dream. My door opened and Poe entered my room. He smiled sympathetically and sat on the edge of my bed, taking my hands in his. My hands were shaking and he gripped them to try and stop the shaking. He didn’t need to ask if it was the same dream. He knew. Although part of me wished he didn’t. Part of me wished I hadn’t let him get close and become my friend. The last one turned to the dark side after all so yeah I had trust issues. Poe understood though and didn’t push me for anything. He was sweet like that. I heard the familier beeping of his droid BB8. The droid rolled inside my room and to my bed to offer me some comfort itself. 

I placed my hand on his side, forcing myself to smile whilst I held back tears.  
“I’m ok buddy, just another bad dream,” I whispered.  
“You want me to stay here for a little while?” Poe asked.  
“No. I woke you up again, you need to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.”  
He knew not to press me so he got up and left with BB8. Poe had his piloting test tomorrow although we both knew he was going to pass first time. He was one hell of pilot. I got out of bed and wrapped a robe around myself. I crept out of my room, hoping not to disturb anyone else any more than I already had. I just needed a glass of water and I would be ok again. 

I noticed a light from the kitchen area and frowned. Who was up at this time of night? I poked my head around the door to find Han still awake. It was too late to head back to bed though, he had noticed me.  
“Bad dream again kid?” He asked.  
“Yeah.”  
He nodded towards the stall opposite him. It would be rude to decline so I sat down, noticing the almost empty bottle of alcohol on the table.  
“Drink?”  
I went to decline but he interrupted me.  
“Oh no wait, sorry. You don’t drink,” he spoke.  
“It’s fine.”

I’m not sure if he knew but I was really uncomfortable. I just wanted a glass of water and a night of sleep that wasn’t plagued with nightmares. I also did not do well with drunk people. They were completely unpredictable both in their words and their actions.  
“So what was the dream about?” He asked.  
“The usual,” I shrugged, I didn’t want to discuss it.  
“I thought so, the screaming gave it away.”  
“Sorry-“  
“No need to apologise, it’s not like you can help it. I mean it is kinda your fault anyway.”

He had my full attention now. Nausea worked its way through my stomach. This was definitely not a conversation I wanted to have. I felt tears pricking at my eyes and I swallowed hard, fighting them back.  
“If you’d just said something then none of this would have happened. Leia and I would still have our son,” he said matter of factly.  
I remained silent, my gaze falling to my clenched fists. I felt like I was a child again being scolded. I climbed off the stool and left the room. I didn’t need him to blame me as well, not when I already blamed myself each and every day. Why else would I have nightmares each night? Why else did I now find it hard to make friends and put my trust in them? 

I reached my room and closed the door, sinking down to the floor and sobbing. Everything was my fault. If I had just told Master Luke about Snoke then everything would have been ok. I still would have my best friend. I would have completed my Jedi training alongside my fellow padawans. I hugged my knees to my chest, allowing myself to cry. I had kept all these emotions inside me too long. I was going to be ok. I had to be. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sat in my room meditating. My mind completely clear, only the force and myself. As a padawan I had to meditate five times a day. I did my best to stick with that number but some days just wouldn’t allow me the time. It seemed today I wouldn’t have enough time either. I was only on my third meditation session before my door was pushed open by R2. I sighed but allowed him in. The droid beeped at me in an apologetic manner. He knew how much I wanted to stick to the Jedi way, even if I was considered to be one of the last. 

“It’s ok buddy, don’t worry about it. Did you need something?” I asked.  
He beeped again, mentioning me to follow him. I got to my feet and followed him to the main deck. Various captains stood around a table, as well as General Leia. She didn’t like the title but she was the best we had. She looked up from the hologram and forced a smile. Something was wrong. Leia excused herself and led me over to a corner of the room. I could see pain in her eyes. The years of pain had not been kind on her. She didn’t need to tell me what had happened. I already knew. Han and Chewie were gone. I had heard the familiar sound of the Falcon engines being started up this morning. 

I pulled her into my arms and she accepted the hug. I held her tight, in case she crumpled and cried. This woman was like a mother to me and it pained me to see her so sad. I held her at arm’s length, catching her gaze.  
“I promise you that I’m not going to go anywhere,” I said reassuringly.  
I had nowhere else to go but I wouldn’t want to leave my mother figure. She pressed something into my hand. A small data spike. Another bunch of holograms to help me with my training. I smiled and kissed her cheek, pulling her into another hug. 

This seemed to lighten her mood a little. To know she was appreciated and how much all that she did meant to me. We headed back over to the table the captains were around, R2 was showing them the incomplete map to Master Luke once again. He sadly beeped and I placed my hand on him in a comforting manner.  
“I know, I miss him too buddy. But we’ll find him. One day.”  
I turned away and headed to the training room. I plugged the data spike into my Proxy droid. Its main purpose was for my training. The droid began changing its appearance and before me stood Count Dooku. I turned it off quickly before the droid had a chance to begin its attack. A little forewarning would have been nice. 

If I was correct in thinking this was used for a trial of fear when it came to the Jedi trials. This was pretty advanced to what I was used to but I couldn’t pass up something like this. Getting to train with previous sith lords would definitely help me. I drew my saber and turned the droid on once more. I was prepared this time. The old sith lord gave me his signature cold stare before drawing his own saber. If I was correct with my research Count Dooku’s fighting style was form two. Makashi. Which was a little amusing seeing as that’s the form Padawans start off with but he was known for murder so I shouldn’t mock him too much. 

My preferred form on the other hand was the third known form. Soresu. The most defensive form, it allowed to defend myself not just with my saber but also with the force as it involved not just fighting but meditation as well. Dooku reached for his saber and slashed upwards at my torso. I lunged backwards to avoid the attack and ignited my own saber, holding the blade upwards and close to my chest. I could definitely see why they would choose Dooku for a fear trial. Not wanting to give him a chance to attack again I stepped forwards slicing downwards across his chest only to have it deflected by Dooku, I attacked again, following the blade round in the motion he forced me and upwards into another attack across his torso. Only to have it once again deflected. 

I stepped back, took a deep breath, attempting to regain my composure. He was trying to toy with me and I couldn’t let him get the better of me. Breathing out I advanced on him, he stepped back with me, keeping the distance and when I looked for a greater advantage he pulled at my ankle with the force and dragged me to one side, dropping me to the floor. As I looked back to him he was already on the move, lunging towards me and going for a killing blow. I pushed my palm outwards and forced him back, gaining time to get to my feet. Not wanting to give me any time he was already going for another attack. This time aiming for my head, his blade flew towards me and I leant backwards as the blade’s tip flew past my face. 

His mistake, he had left himself open and I span on my heel and delivered a swift kick to his stomach, causing him to arch and gasp, following round with my saber I swung low and took out his lower legs, dropping him to what remained of his knees and with one final swing, decapitated the Count, severing his head from his shoulders. As the count's head hit the floor, both it and the body flashed once more and changed back to the PROXY-droids original form. I was breathing heavily and a little sweaty. Poe burst in the room, grinning ear to ear. That could only mean one thing. 

“You passed I assumed?” I said.  
“With flying colours,” he spoke matter of factly.  
“Of course.”  
“Looks like you were having fun though.”  
I put my saber away and glanced at the broken droid. Someone was not going to be happy about that. I hated to be the guy who fixed the droids.  
“You’re getting pretty good now,” Poe said.  
I shrugged, “I can be better though.”  
“You shouldn’t push yourself.”  
“I can’t just sit around all day.”

There was some truth in that. I couldn’t. If I sat down for too long it would get me thinking about all the ways I could have prevented the loss of my friends. Its because of me they were all dead. It was my fault that I would never be able to complete my training and become a true Jedi. I turned back to Poe and made a silent promise. This friend I had, I would not lose him, I would protect him at all costs. I picked up the droid and hoisted its body over my shoulder, grabbing the head. I headed over to the empty work bench and put the droid down. I grabbed some paper and scribbled an apology, leaving it with the droid. 

The other pilots were throwing Poe a party tonight and they had invited me but I had declined the invite. I didn’t do parties or much socialising. It wasn’t something I considered myself to be good at.  
“You sure you don’t want to come?” Poe asked.  
“I’d just get in the way. It would be like C3P0 trying to have a normal conversation with someone.”  
“Alright. But if you change your mind you're more than welcome to join us.”  
I forced a smile before he left the training room. I took a deep breath and removed the top half of my robes, folding them neatly and leaving them in a pile next to the punching bag. I began beating the bag with my fists, sometimes my feet. It helped me relieve stress, made me forget. 

I had no idea how much the time had passed until Leia entered the room, carrying a clean towel and a glass of water.  
“Not going to join the festivities?” She asked.  
“Nope.”  
“Well at least give yourself a break. You’ve been at it for over an hour now.”  
I sighed but stopped beating the punching bag, taking the towel and water from her. I downed it in a couple of mouthfuls and wiped my sweaty face with the towel. I let my hair down only to put it back up in a neater bun this time. I didn’t exactly feel it was appropriate to be standing in front of her in just a sports bra and the bottom half of my robes. I grabbed my undershirt from the pile and put it on. 

“You’re not at the party either so don’t start lecturing me,” I said, my arms crossed over my chest.  
“I didn’t plan on it. But as your Poe’s friend you probably should be there for him.”  
“He has other friends. Better friends.”  
“And what makes you say that?”  
“They are at his party,” I replied, sarcastically.  
She raised her eyebrow, a hand on her hip. Giving me the stern look only a mother could. My shoulders slumped, I probably shouldn’t have said that. I gave her an apologetic look and her features softened. But I could still see the pain she went through each and every day. First the loss of her only child and now her husband gone. 

Another promise only this time it wasn’t going to be silent. I took her hands in mine and made her look at me.  
“I’m going to get your son back for you,” I said barely above a whisper.  
“What? You can’t –“  
“No. I created this mess. I can put a stop to it. You and I both still believe there’s still good in him. There’s only one way to find out isn’t there.”  
“It’s too dangerous.”  
“I can’t keep training in here for the rest of my life.”  
“And I can’t lose the one person I have left.”  
I stopped arguing with her as tears began rolling down her cheeks. I pulled her into my arms as she began to sob into my chest. I stayed with her like this until she had gotten it all out.  
“I have to do this,” I said softly.  
Leia knew once I made my mind up on something that there was no changing it. I had to do this for her and for myself. It might be the only way I could ever forgive myself. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryloth was a beautiful planet alright. But I wasn’t here to admire the views. I was here to find a Hutt. Nashi Hutt. I continued my journey through the trees, hoping to not come close to a volcano anytime soon. I pulled my hood up, eventually finding a small town. Luckily for me it seemed to be market day as the town was packed. Good. I headed straight for the busy Cantina and took a seat at the bar. I caught the attention of the bar tender and looked him straight in the eye. I used the force to get the information I wanted. The Jedi mind trick worked on the weak minded but I knew it wouldn’t work on a Hutt. Not that I would need it. 

With the information I needed I left the Cantina and headed further into the town. I spotted two guards outside the location given. So the slug was worried for his safety. Interesting. I headed inside with no problems only a quick glance and a shrug. The place was dimly lit with plenty of smoke in the air. I spotted a scantily clad slave, my eyes narrowing. Maybe I could free the slaves whilst I was here too. I followed the girl into the main entertainment room where the large slug was sat, stuffing his face and surrounded by various slaves and ‘guests’. 

I removed my hood and made a beeline for the Hutt. Of course he wouldn’t recognise me or know who I was. But he would know I was a Jedi. Hutt’s were resistant to the force unfortunately but they could tell a Jedi a mile off. The slob stopped stuffing his face and he slammed his tiny hand down, making the place fall silent. His watery eyes narrowed, his leathery like skin shaking.  
“How dare you enter my home? Who let you in here?” He said in a surprisingly high pitched voice for a Hutt.  
“Your ‘guards’. You might want to hire some better ones,” I said matter of factly.  
“I suppose you’re here to arrest me for my crimes?”  
“Of course. You’ve been under the radar a little too long.”  
“And you think I’ll come willingly?”  
“Not exactly no. But you will come.”

Nashi let out what sounded like a laugh, which caused the rest of the room to erupt into a fit of laughter. I rolled my eyes, my hand on my saber.  
“The First Order are looking for a Jedi of your description. Offering a pretty price too,” Nashi spoke.  
“I’m sure they are but they will get what’s coming to them soon enough.”  
“Your foolish Jedi, you came alone and you think you’re going to walk out of here with me as your prisoner.”  
I smiled to myself. Oh if only you knew what the real plan was here. I didn’t like the fact that I had to lose the fight I was soon to get in, it would make me a laughing stock. I glanced around me, noticing I was surrounded. It wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t have to lose. I removed my hooded cloak, picking my target. The tallest of the Gamorreans.  
“Restrain her,” Nashi ordered. 

And with that the guards advanced on me. I did a backflip, using the force to propel myself higher and further so that some of the Gamorreans butted heads with each other. I landed in a crouch, readying myself for the next attack. The ones left standing drew their blasters. Ok this was going to hurt but it would be believable. The first shot came, getting me in the leg. I cried out, hunching over giving them the opportunity to get me in the shoulder. Then they were on me, shackling my wrists together. I still had to make it believable and struggled against them, kicking one of them which only got my ankles shackled as well. I was brought before Nashi, forced on to my knees.  
“Not so smart now Jedi. Captain Phasma is on her way and she’s looking forward to meeting you,” Nashi chuckled.

I was taken away to a simple cell. I sat down and closed my eyes, focusing my mind. Thanks to the force I could heal myself, well speed the process up a little at least. That doesn’t mean I can cheat death however. The pain began to subside and I could relax more. I decided to meditate whilst I was waiting as well. Might as well. Eventually a guard came for me, grabbing me and forcing me forward. They led me outside and to the market area. We were going for public humiliation now? Fair enough. I spotted Nashi speaking to a storm trooper. However this wasn’t any storm trooper. Their armour was silver instead of the typical white and they were pretty tall as well. Must be the famous Captain Phasma I keep hearing about. 

I was brought before the two where Phasma looked me up and down. Behind her was a small cluster of stormtroopers in their signature white armour.  
“You understand why I would want to complete the trade in the open?” Nashi asked the Captain.  
“Of course.”  
Phasma took hold of my shackles, pulling me towards her. Another trooper took hold of me as Nashi handed Phasma my saber.  
“Thank you for your cooperation. Get her aboard and inform General Hux of her capture,” Phasma ordered.  
I was pulled away from the market. I looked back as the sound of blaster fire rang in my ears once more. Phasma and a few other troopers had murdered Nashi and his loyal companions. The slug flopped over on to his back completely lifeless. 

Of course Phasma wasn’t going to give the slug what he wanted. The First Order didn’t trade. They took what they want, whether it involved murder or not. I was forced on to the ship and into yet another cell. Well the plan had worked so far. Phasma approached the bars of my cell, still carrying her blaster as well as my saber. She was trying to taunt me with it.  
“We’ll find out where your base is soon Jedi scum,” she spat.  
“If you say so bucket head.”  
She was probably glaring at me under that helmet, not that I cared. She raised her blaster a little as if to threaten me.  
“Ah ah, can’t harm the prisoner. Doesn’t this General Hux want to do that himself?” I smirked.  
“Kylo Ren has given specific orders that you are not to be harmed. I don’t see why.”  
At the mention of his name that made my mission direr. It meant he was alive. And he was leading all of this, well I assumed so. I just had to wait and see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's a little shorter than the first.

Chapter 2

Ben’s P.O.V

I awaited the arrival of the Jedi where I would then interrogate her, see if she held any useful knowledge and then dispose of her. General Hux was aware of my plans and demanded to be present during the interrogation. He would only get in the way in my opinion. He got in the way a lot of the time. Phasma entered the meeting room and handed me the Jedi’s saber, which I attached to my belt.  
“Is she unharmed like I asked?” I questioned her.  
“Yes sir. General Hux is interrogating her now.”  
“What?!” 

Phasma stood her ground. The man was making it increasingly difficult to work with him. I left the meeting room, heading straight for the interrogation chambers. The two troopers outside her cell let me pass and I headed inside. Hux was stood to the side, watching as some of his men beat her. They stopped when they noticed my presence.  
“About time Ren, sorry we started without you,” Hux said.  
“Out.”  
“I beg your pardon.”  
“Out! I specifically gave instructions that she was not be harmed. Or can you not even understand simple instructions!”  
Hux’s men had left the room by now, afraid of what I might do to them. Hux glared at me, balling his fists. I could kill him with no more than a thought and he knew it.  
“Don’t let your personal interests get in the way Ren. I shall inform the Supreme Leader of her arrival,” he said in a threatening tone. 

Hux left the room, the door closing behind him. I turned to Cora, the start of a black eye was forming and her lip was split. She seemed calm however.  
“Your friend seems nice,” she said sarcastically.  
She hadn’t changed much clearly. Still cocky and sarcastic. And look where it got her now. Into trouble. Her appearance hadn’t changed much either only the usual growth the human body goes through.  
“A few ground rules before the interrogation starts. You take that mask off and I won’t be calling you Kylo Ren, I’ll be calling you by your real name,” she said matter of factly.  
“You think you’re in any position to make ground rules? The mask stays on.”

She rolled her eyes and made herself more comfortable. Her calm demeanour was starting to get on my nerves.  
“I know you weren’t captured by Nashi Hutt, you gave yourself up. Why?” I asked.  
“You’re smart at least you were when we were kids. Why don’t you work it out?”  
I held out my hand using the force to choke her. Her eyes widened in surprise, which was slowly replaced by fear. She began thrashing around as if that would somehow help her. Eventually I let her go. She coughed and gasped for air.  
“Are you going to tell me now? Or do I have to search your mind? The latter will be more painful for you.”

Her eyes narrowed but she didn’t throw an insult at me. She knew better now. I cocked my head, waiting for her answer.  
“I wanted to be here. I wanted my friend back,” she spoke, her gaze meeting mine.  
I chuckled. How pathetic, “your friend is dead. I changed for the better.”  
“I don’t believe that. You can say what you like, beat me, torture me. I’m not giving up on you.”  
“Then you will have died for nothing. But I’m sure you still have your uses before that. Your base for instance. Or perhaps the last piece of the map to Skywalker.”  
“I don’t know where the base is. Not anymore at least. And besides there’s a number of bases, you need to be more specific.”  
“The one you were on before you were here. Where is it?”  
“You won’t find anything there. Your mother took the precautions that were necessary. I don’t know where she is anymore.”

I didn’t quite believe that. I had no reason to believe a word she said. I invaded her mind being greeted with images of the planet Lothal. The same planet was used by previous rebels that were against my grandfather. When I tried to search for their new location however she allowed me, meaning she was telling the truth after all. Well I could still get rid of Lothal and the base. One less place for them to run. And now the map to Skywalker. Unfortunately she had only seen what the rest of us had seen. The map was still incomplete and no clues as to where to find it. Cora then forced an image before me. A memory. I instantly left her mind, not wanting to be reminded of my past. 

“You don’t remember that day? Master Luke sent us out to find out saber crystals. Everyone else split up, more excited about their own but we stuck together, helped each other,” she spoke.  
“You will remain here until a decision has been made about what to do with you.”  
I turned and left the interrogation room, heading back to my private quarters. I removed my helmet and my gloves. I placed her saber on the table in the corner of the room. I sat before grandfathers mask hoping it would give me the strength I needed. Of course she had forced that memory on to me on purpose. 

_“Come on Ben,” Cora called._  
_I ran to catch up with her. She stood on the top of hill searching the landscape before us. We could see fellow Padawans running to random areas, finding their lightsaber crystals. I noticed a glint of blue coming from a cave. I took Cora’s hand and pulled her over to the cave. We stood at the mouth of the cave, the blue glint had now become prominent._  
_“What colour is it?” Cora asked._  
_“Blue. You see yours yet?”_  
_“Yeah. It’s green.”_

_We continued further into the cave, expecting pure darkness only the whole cave was lit up with saber crystals of various colours embedded into the floor and walls of the cave. Cora was looking around in wonder, walking backwards at times just to take everything in. I reached the crystal that called out to me, taking it. It slipped out of the rock easily as if it wanted to be taken. Cora grinned, excitement evident on her features._  
_“This is so cool. You know what the colours mean right?” She beamed._  
_“Yes, you’ve told me enough times.”_  
_“Green means I’m going to be a Jedi Guardian.”_  
_“Don’t get ahead of yourself. You still have to pass the trials.”_  
_“Which we will. We can be Jedi masters together and have our own Padawans.”_

_I rolled, my eyes smiling to myself. She always had a way of getting ahead of herself. I guess I couldn’t blame her being excited, I was excited myself. Getting our crystals meant we could finally build our own lightsabers. The saber we would have for the rest of our lives. Cora took her own crystal, marvelling at it like it was a small animal._  
_“We should head back,” she said._  
_“No harm in staying a little longer.”_  
_“We could make this place into a fort or at least somewhere we could meditate. That way we’d be so much closer to the force.”_

_Well she wasn’t wrong but meditation bored me unlike her. I preferred to be actually doing something when it came to my training not just sitting down for an hour with my eyes closed. And it didn’t help we had to do it five times a day either._  
_“Fort sounds good. We could probably duel in here too,” I suggested. ___  
_“Might hurt when I keep knocking you on your ass,” she smirked._  
_“You wanna test that now.”_  
_I gave her a playful shove, which she returned giggling. We decided it was best to head back to the temple however, Cora didn’t want to make Master Luke angry with her. Not that he ever did get angry with her. She was a teacher’s pet, the biggest goody two shoes out there._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a week and I had made sure Cora was being fed and she had been cleaned up a little. I hadn’t visited her since however. Her only visitor had been a doctor. It was up to me to decide what was to be done with her. On the one hand I should kill her for many reasons. She was my enemy, against me and everything I stood for. She was only the Padawan I had failed to kill, her demise would make me stronger. One less call to the light, one less reminder of my past, of my weakness. Her ‘mission’ was futile. It was a suicide mission. She should have known that. 

But there were benefits for keeping her alive. A possible bargaining chip with the resistance. I could use her to prove to the Supreme Leader that I wasn’t weak and pathetic. I could turn her to the dark side. Show her the power he had shown me. She would make a good addition to the Knights of Ren. She was a good fighter, which would make her a valuable asset. Turning her against the resistance would be delightful, watching as she murdered those she had lived with for so many years, those she had considered friends. 

It was worth a try at least. If she didn’t join me then I would kill her. Simple as that. I know Hux wouldn’t approve of me keeping a Jedi on board but it wasn’t up to him. She was my responsibility now. And when I wasn’t able to keep an eye on her there was another that could. One of Hux’s latest experiments. She was part clone, part human. You wouldn’t know at first glance, but looking at her different coloured eyes gave it away. One blue eye, the other green. She was almost as strong as Phasma and she was reliable. 

I left my room and called for Chaise to be brought to the meeting room. The brunette was quick to arrive. She was dressed in the simple navy First Order uniform. Her storm trooper uniform wouldn’t be needed on board. She bowed her head a little in respect.  
“Phasma said you have a job for me,” she spoke.  
“Not an exciting one I’m afraid, which I do apologise for. You’re aware of our prisoner?”  
“Of course.”  
“I want you to watch her at all times, except for when I’m able to of course. You will escort her to places she’s allowed to access if she wishes to go there. Basically make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.”  
“I can do that. Using brute force if necessary?”  
“If necessary.”

A hint of a smile played at the corners of her lips. I had Chaise follow me to Cora’s cell. Chaise waited outside the room. Cora’s full attention was on me as I entered the room. She knew today was the day where she would either die or be spared.  
“I’ve come to a decision,” I announced.  
“And?”  
Using the force I opened the restraints around her wrists and ankles. She remained still however. She didn’t trust me, not that she had much reason too. For all she knew I could be toying with her. Wanting the thrill of a chase before killing her. 

Cautiously she stepped down from the rack, rubbing her wrists and stretching her limbs. I motioned for her to follow me and she did so, her guard still up. I led her down a long corridor, stopping outside an empty room. Not far from mine, just in case she needed to be dealt with. I opened the door for her and she took a quick look inside, raising an eyebrow.  
“I don’t understand,” I blinked.  
“I’m letting you live, what more is there to understand?”  
“But at what cost?”  
“There won’t be one if you behave. Now this is Chaise, she’s in charge of you when I’m unavailable.”  
“So I’m still a prisoner.”  
“That is entirely up to you.”

Cora entered her new room, slamming the door behind her. Chaise remained outside, leaning against the wall. I retired to my own quarters for the evening. I undressed and took a shower before climbing into bed. I lay staring at the ceiling for a while, sensing that Cora was still awake. She wasn’t planning on going to sleep anytime soon either. She was scared. Scared that all this was still a trick and I was going to kill her in her sleep. I sighed, closing my eyes. I slept for an hour and she was still awake.  
_Sleep, if I wanted you dead I would have killed you already._  
We hadn’t spoken to each other through our minds since we were children. I sensed her confusion before she relaxed.  
_You could still change your mind. Aren’t sith meant to be unpredictable?_ Her voice filled my mind.  
_Just go to sleep._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke in the morning and changed into my usual robes. I put my mask on and left my room. I passed Cora’s room on my way and considered going inside. But I had work to do. I would visit her later in the day. I needed to find a relief for Chaise. She couldn’t babysit Cora twenty four hours a day, she had a life of her own. I motioned for Chaise to follow me, which she did. I explained to her what hours she would work. Just through the day and I would find someone else for nightly duties. Although she was relieved for today. She smiled and headed in the direction of the training room. 

I headed to the main control room where Hux was barking orders as usual. I felt somewhat sorry for the people that had to put up with him all day. Hux turned away from the computers and he only seemed to grow angrier when his eyes fell on me.  
“What do you think you’re playing at? Keeping that harpy alive? She could ruin everything that I – we have worked on,” he snapped.  
“A little trust goes a long way General. She has personal guards with her so she can’t cause any trouble.”  
“If anything goes wrong I’m holding you responsible. And so will the Supreme Leader. She is your prisoner after all.”  
“I am aware of that. I have put Chaise in charge of her throughout the day.”

I noticed how his face softened a little at the mention of Chaise. So he did have feelings for her. Interesting.  
“She has better things to do than babysit your Jedi,” she snapped.  
“Like what?”  
He remained silent, his fists clenching. He knew what I was getting at, which only angered him more. His attention turned from me to one of the screens behind me.  
“And this is why you should have killed her,” he hissed.  
I turned to the screen he was looking at. It showed Cora in one of the filing rooms looking through various files. Exactly where she shouldn’t be.  
“Are you going to deal with it or do I have to clean up your mess again?” Hux growled.  
“She’s my prisoner, I will punish her how I see fit. When you have a prisoner of your own Hux then you can do the same.”  
I left the control room, heading for the filing room. And she said she didn’t want to be treated like a prisoner. Yet she continues to get herself in to trouble.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry again that its short :/

Chapter 3 

Cora’s P.O.V

_Ben’s voice woke me from my sleep with a start. If it had been his normal voice then I would have woken up normally but talking to me through my mind was like ten times more personal._  
Cora are you awake?  
I am now nerf herder.  
Sorry.  
Its ok, can’t sleep?  
No.  
I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The other padawans were asleep. I carefully removed the sheet that covered me and got to my feet, the sound of my bare feet on cold stone tiles. I shivered a little, due to it being winter which made the tiles even colder. 

_Ben got out of his own sheets and we left our bedroom. Padawans only had a few sheets and a single pillow to sleep with. It didn’t bother me as much as it bothered some of the others. There had been worse things to happen in the night. Like the time Master Luke had gotten us all out bed pretending there was an attack when actually it was just another lesson. A few candles were lit here and there throughout the temple so we could see where we were going. We found the balcony, closing the door behind us._

_I rested my elbows on the balcony rail, my chin resting between my hands as I scanned the landscape. The planet was truly beautiful at night. The sky even more so. A blank canvas with stars scattered here and there. A lot of the time when neither of us could sleep we would come out here and star gaze. Ben pointed to a star off in the distance, which was larger than the others. That’s when something cold hit my nose. Snow. And it was falling fast and heavy too._

_It didn’t take long for the balcony rail to be covered in a thick layer of snow. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to get warmer. Ben told me to wait where I was and left the balcony. He returned a few moments later with my shoes and our bedsheets. We sat down, wrapping the sheets around ourselves and continuing to watch the snow fall._  
_“Good thing we get the day off tomorrow if the snow isn’t gone by morning,” I spoke._  
_“Snowball fight?”_  
_“Definitely.”_  
_I dipped my finger in the snow, drawing a circle before grabbing a handful and dumping it on Ben’s lap._  
_“What was that for?” He said, wiping the snow away before it had time to melt._  
_“You dump grass on me all the time.”_

_Ben got to his feet, gathering a handful of snow and throwing it at me. I dodged just in time, getting up. He hand another snowball ready. I put one of my hands behind my back using the force to make my own. We threw and dodged at the same time before rushing to gather more snow. Good thing we had tomorrow off, Master Luke made sure we had two days off a week so we all had chance to be children. At least that’s what he said. We could spend the days however we wished, we could either continue our studies or hang out with the other Padawans. I knew the old ways didn’t offer the chance of a childhood, it was Jedi training day in and day out._

I awoke and rubbed my eyes before getting out of bed and taking a shower. I wrapped the towel around myself and opened the wardrobe in my room. Hmmm First Order uniform or a bunch of conveniently placed dresses? I think I’ll stick with my Jedi robes. Thankfully I had washed them last night in the sink so they wouldn’t smell bad. I tied my wet black hair up in a simple bun and pressed my ear to the door. Ben was talking to my guard. I remember her name to be Chaise I think. Their footsteps began to get quieter and quieter. I opened the door and peered down the hallway. Empty. 

I closed my door behind me and walked quickly to Ben’s room, closing the door once I was safely inside. The first thing I spotted was the partially destroyed Darth Vader helmet, making me take step back. I collided with the door. Of course Vader was dead but that mask was still enough to fill someone with dread when you thought of all the monstrous things he did. I got myself together, searching for my saber. Ben had simply left my saber on a corner table. It didn’t even get a stand. Rude. I took it and attached it to my belt where it belonged. 

It made me feel better just to feel its weight on my hip. I went over to the data pad in his room, hoping it would give me the information I needed. I wanted the layout of the ship and possible First Order plans. I found the layout of the ship first, my finger tracing a path to the filing room. That’s where the plans should be kept. Sure they could be on a computer but at the risk of a data breach it was better to have it on paper. How often did they get a rebel on board? Just me. I left the room and followed the route I had memorized. 

Of course any signs of bucket heads I would hide in the nearest supply closet. I finally reached the filing room, which was empty. Thank the maker. Ok let’s try P for plans or was that too obvious? I searched through the files, putting a few files on the floor that looked interesting. Phasma’s armour had its own file? I suppose it could do with reading. One file caught my eye and I began flipping through it, finding various blueprints of the planet. One of its primary weapons drew power from the sun, which in turn could destroy the sun itself. This weapon was used to destroy complete planets. 

I heard the door open and shoved the file back in its home quickly. I ducked amongst the cabinets hearing heavy footsteps coming my way. That’s when I felt the force grab me and pin me to a wall. I couldn’t see his expression but it was obvious he was more than angry.  
“Is this the real reason you wanted to come aboard? To find out what the First Order had planned? Get information on our weapons, see what they do? I’ll show you,” he snarled.  
He took my saber before I had chance to defend myself. His fingers were then in my hair, dragging me out of the room. I winced at the burning pain in my scalp and attempted to struggle.  
“Don’t. You’ll make things worse for yourself,” he threatened. 

I let him drag me down the halls by my hair and into the hangar of the base. The biggest ship I had ever seen was sat in the hangar waiting. A navy vessel. He forced me aboard and to the bridge where there was a large viewpoint. The ship was ready for take-off. As if it had been waiting for us to board. Eventually the landscape before me was replaced with the stars and a planet. Lothal. I knew what was going to happen but nothing could prepare me for the planet's destruction, the planet that had been my home for five years. He let go of my hair and I fell to my knees helpless. I watched as a giant beam of light shot out from Starkiller Base, aimed for Lothal. The beam hit it, the planet exploding almost instantly. 

I let out a small cry, tears rolling down my cheeks. I had every right to be scared now. This was not the friend I once knew. He was gone, he had been replaced by a monster. I shifted away from him. He had now destroyed two of my homes. Why had I been stupid enough to think I could get him to come home? I was just an orphan again. No home, no family. Like it had always been, like it was meant to be. He grabbed me by my arm to pull me to my feet but I shoved him away, glaring at him.  
“Don’t touch me,” I hissed.  
I stood up, wiping away my tears and following him out of the room. He led me to another empty bedroom. I slammed the door in his face and curled up on the bed, sobbing into the pillow. 

I should never have come here. I should have forgotten about him and moved on with my life. I would have actually had a life. I should give up on him now, forget all about this mission and escape. Make an actual life for myself somewhere far away from all this mess. Maybe even abandon the Jedi way, it had done no good for me so far. And there was nothing left of us anyway. I eventually ran out of tears to shed and decided to meditate before finalizing any decisions in my head. It was just my emotions talking, there is no emotion, there is only the force. 

I managed to meditate without interruption for once, I had no idea how much time had passed but I felt calmer. My head was clearer and I wasn’t jumping to stupid conclusions. I cannot give up at the first sign of trouble, only cowards do that. However that act was unforgivable. I was in deep that was for sure but I would not give up. I had to remain strong. I had to bring Leia’s son home, I had promised her I would. I got to my feet and opened the door of my room, finding Chaise leant against the wall outside. Her eyes met mine, a hint of sympathy in them. 

I closed the door and leant against the wall opposite her. I could sense her nervousness. I don’t see why she would be nervous around me? It’s not like I was a killer. I was the prisoner in this situation, the weaker one.  
“Why are you nervous?” I asked.  
“You could use the famous Jedi mind trick on me at any time.”  
“Do you consider yourself weak minded?”  
“Not particularly.”  
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”

I noticed a hint of a smile as she relaxed. For once a guard that didn’t insist on insults every five minutes. Perhaps we could get along. I noticed her different coloured eyes and frowned. Odd for a human…unless I was being completely ignorant. Which was most likely. Maybe it was a birth thing, some of her cells as a fetus didn’t quite mutate right, I mean that’s how some humans end up with six fingers. So it could be the same with eye colours. It would probably be insensitive to ask as well, could then cause her to become the annoying guard that insults me every five minutes. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I found myself on my back, pinned down by the force. I couldn’t move any part of my body. I had no idea where I was but the cold metal was beginning to dig into my back. It was the same dream I had each and every night. I began to panic not wanting to go through it yet again. I tried anything to move. It was my dream, I should be able to control what happened in it. I heard his footsteps approaching, the sound of his saber crackling and humming. I jumped at the sound, closing my eyes. I told myself it was just a dream over and over as if it would offer some sort of comfort. Ben stood over me, saber in hand. Behind him stood the Knights of Ren. I attempted to break free of his control once more, I needed to be stronger. But even if I broke free of his control what would I do? Run? They would only find me and kill me. Ben raised the saber above his head before bringing it down across my neck for the killing blow._

I awoke screaming, which slowly turned to loud sobs. Nobody came in my room to offer comfort, not that I would want it from these monsters. I hugged my knees to my chest, sobbing until the tears finally stopped. I got to my feet, shaking. I had every right to be afraid now. He’d blown up a planet, who knew what he was going to do to me. I showered and changed into the same clothes as yesterday, once again cleaned in the sink the night before. I had passed on old school Jedi fear trail, I could do this. I made my bed and then sat on the floor, meditating. Depending on the force some Jedi had force visions. I was hoping for one now, it may help guide me. Unfortunately no such luck. 

My door opened and Ben stood in the doorway, my saber on his belt as well as his own. I ignored him and went back to meditating. I heard him step further into the room and he crouched in front of me.  
“You can’t ignore me forever. It could make your stay rather boring,” he said.  
I have every right to ignore you after your actions. I heard him sigh as if I were a child being difficult.  
“I know about the dream you had,” he said in a softer tone.  
This got my attention. It meant he had been in my damn head. I opened my eyes, giving him my attention. I encouraged him to continue.  
“That’s not going to happen. I can assure you-“  
“Right now I don’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”

He sighed once more. I felt like punching him but I’m pretty that damn helmet would break my fist. I was done playing prisoner. He needed to know all the bullshit he had put me and his family through.  
“I have every right not to believe your lies. You dragged me onto a ship and showed me the destruction of a planet I called home. If you recall I’ve never known my real home, I’ve never known my real parents. But you. You had everything. You had a home, parents and a family that loved you, would do anything for you. You knew who you were, where you came from. You destroyed both of my homes, what I considered to be family. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you do it again. Not once have I been tempted by the dark side. I guess that says which one of us is the stronger one.”

I could sense his rage and I prepared myself for a slap or punch. I guess he wasn’t used to people putting him in his place, people telling him what a brat he was being.  
“That’s what you really think?” He asked.  
“It’s what I know.”  
“I see. In that case the plans I had today for you have changed. You can remain here and meditate if you really think it will help.”  
I glared at him as he left, taking a deep breath to calm myself. I closed my eyes once more, smiling to myself. That felt good to get that off my chest after so long. That’s when I heard shouting and the sound of a lightsaber destroying something electrical. 

I decided not to investigate. Let him have a tantrum, it only further proved my point. Children that couldn’t get what they wanted threw tantrums. He would be back later, to try his luck again. And maybe, depending on my mood I would be a little nicer to him. I doubted it though. Although I was curious on what he had planned for me today, perhaps it involved some sort of sparring as he had my saber on his belt. Or maybe he was being a little smarter after yesterday’s incident. Either way I felt much better now. Maybe it would teach him a lesson.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again i know its short, forgive my awfulness

Chapter 4

Ben’s P.O.V

1 Month Later

Cora and I had barley spoken after the rant she went on. She stayed in her room most of the time. Chaise would bring her food which of course was winding up Hux even more. It’s not like I had asked her too, she had done it of her own free will. I approached Cora’s room and dismissed Chaise before going inside. Of course she was meditating. I shouldn’t have expected anything else. She opened one eye, made an unimpressed expression and went back to meditating.  
“Come with me,” I broke the silence.  
“I’ll pass thank you.”  
“You can’t stay in this room for the rest of your life.”  
“Or until you get bored of me.”

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to stay calm and not snap at her although she was trying my patience yet again. I unclipped her saber from my belt and that seemed to get her attention. She got to her feet, cautiously. She took her saber from me still unsure.  
“I’m sure you remember the duels we had as children.”  
“Yes. What are you getting at?”  
“You want real training? Train with me.”  
“Is this some kind of joke?”  
“What can I do to assure you that I’m not going to harm you?”

She stayed silent for a moment as if she was thinking of something. Her eyes met mine and she shrugged. What was that meant to mean?  
“I don’t trust you, so what can you do? Trust isn’t something that just happens Ben, you have to earn it,” she said matter of factly.  
“I’m aware of that.”  
“Then you’re not allowed to get angry with me when I don’t do something you ask. Or if I seem hesitant.”  
“Is that all?”  
“You really don’t do well with people do you?”  
“I never did.”

Cora followed me to the training room, which she seemed to marvel at. She obviously hadn’t seen one this large in years. We had the whole area to ourselves as well which she seemed to appreciate. There were going to be rules of course, for her sake and my own. I drew my saber which she smirked at.  
“I thought you would have made another one,” she mentioned.  
“It’s been improved a lot since the first time you saw it.”  
“I should hope so, you could barely lift it when you first made it.”  
I felt myself smiling, which I soon stopped. It felt odd to find myself somewhat happy over a childhood memory. Happiness was not exactly something I had felt in a long time. 

“We’re really duelling with our sabers? You don’t think it would be better to fight with pikes or even Cortosis Blades?” Cora asked.  
“I’m not going to hurt you if that’s what you’re getting at.”  
“Oh no, I was thinking about me hurting you. Don’t you remember all those times I beat you during training before?”  
“I think you’re delusional.”  
She smiled, the first genuine smile from her since she had been here. It was nice. She drew her saber, getting into position. I remember her fighting style was Soresu, hopefully it was still the same and she would be easy to beat.

_Master Luke had asked Cora and I to duel next. Cora seemed eager, probably thinking she would beat me again. I had to prove her wrong this time. I couldn’t let her beat me again. It was humiliating. She stepped up and drew her saber. I did the same before running at her. Her saber blocked my attack, using her strength to push me back a little. She didn’t give me much time to prepare and I barely blocked her next slash. She was quick and relentless when she needed to be._

_She stepped back and I followed her movements, our sabers clashing again. This time I tried something different. I head butted her which of course took her by surprise. I took this time to try and kick her legs out from under her but she used the force, preventing me from winning. She smiled apologetically and used a force push on me. I fought back against her power, regaining my footing. She was on me again and she knew she was winning. We continued deflecting each other’s attacks before she landed a kick to my chest, knocking me to the floor._

_She kicked my saber away from me and waited for the confirmation that the fight was over. Once she put her saber away she gave me her hand and helped me up. She rubbed her forehead, smiling._  
_“Good move, I honestly wasn’t expecting it,” she said._  
_“Maybe next time I should jump on your back, see if you expect that.”_  
_Cora laughed and we took our places back amongst our fellow padawans. I could see on Master Luke’s face that he wasn’t happy with me however. He never was. None of my duels against Cora were ever good enough for him._

Cora held back, waiting for me to make the first move just like she always would. Wait for the first move and use the force to push them back. Well she had yet to learn of my new skills. Ones that would definitely take her by surprise. I used the force to shorten the distance between us by pulling her closer and bringing the saber down towards her shoulder. She let out a small yelp at the motion and blocked just in time but she now her arms were in an uncomfortable position and she had to pull away. 

“That’s new,” she said.  
“Your form hasn’t changed.”  
She advanced on me, her saber clashing with mine, “well when you’ve only had droids to practice on, it’s a bit hard to change.”  
“An excuse?”  
“A valid one.”  
She managed to get the upper hand this time, following my backward steps until she thought she had me cornered. The force of my blows increased and it was her turn to step back. I spun my saber above my head before bringing it down again. She ducked in time although a small lock of her hair got caught with my saber. 

“That’s definitely new,” she remarked.  
“Shouldn’t Jedi always be adapting?”  
“They should but like I said when you only have droids to train on, it’s difficult.”  
I kicked her feet out from under her and she landed on her back. She scrambled to her feet, not willing to admit defeat. That was fine, she would tire eventually. She tried using a force push on me but I was stronger now. That wouldn’t work on me anymore. She groaned in annoyance and advanced on me once more. 

I stood my ground and blocked her hits until it was another strength battle. I pushed her back, knocking her saber from her hand. This time she held up her hands in defeat, clearly tired. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and picked up her saber, clipping it back on her belt. I tutted and held my hand out. She rolled her eyes but handed it back to me.  
“We’ll do the same tomorrow, there’s clearly room for improvement,” I explained.  
“Gee thanks.”  
“I can make training a lot worse for you.”  
“I doubt that.”  
“We’ll see.”

I led her back to her room, making sure Chaise was on guard again before leaving. A storm trooper approached me, keeping their distance.  
“General Hux requires your presence on the bridge sir,” they explained.  
I nodded my thanks and headed to the bridge. Hux was waiting, clearly impatient.  
“I don’t appreciate my best people still being on babysitting duty,” he snapped.  
“Did you call me here for a real reason or was it to waste my time?”  
“The Supreme Leader wants to speak with us, mainly you.”

My stomach dropped but I followed Hux to the meeting room. It was empty except for the hologram image of Snoke. Hux and I stood before him, kneeling first in respect.  
“You tested the weapon I see. A success was it?” Snoke asked.  
“Yes, one less rebel base,” Hux answered.  
“And it was used without my permission?”  
I knew Hux was smirking as he glanced at me. If the Supreme Leader didn’t like him so much I would have killed him a long time ago.  
“My prisoner needed a strong reminder of just who she was dealing with,” I spoke.  
“And how is your prisoner? Alive still?”  
“Yes-“  
“Why?”

Hux’s smirk only seemed to grow at this. I took a deep breath, calming myself before answering.  
“She is strong with the force, she could be a valuable asset to our cause.”  
Snoke sat back in his chair and nodded for me to continue. That made me feel a little more at ease.  
“She still thinks she can bring me back from the dark side, I assure you she cannot but that makes her easy to manipulate. I can show her the power you showed me, she wouldn’t be able to resist the dark side.”  
“I see, if your plan fails what then?”  
“She’s friendly with the rebels, I can use her as a means for their surrender.”  
“If she poses as a threat to our cause I will have her killed, by your hand.”  
“Yes Supreme Leader.”

We were dismissed and I retired to my room. I needed time to process these new orders. I’m not sure I could bring myself to kill her anymore. A month ago I wouldn’t have hesitated. But something had changed. She tolerated me. She didn’t treat me the way everyone else did. Storm troopers and Hux’s men were fearful of me, which they should be but it was nice to find someone that would speak their mind whether it upset me or not. Yes she had been scared of me before but today it felt like we were almost friends again. I hadn’t had a friend in years, they were all just people I worked with. 

But she was just another call to the light, another seduction. I didn’t need that. I already had my parents, I didn’t need her as well. It hurt to even think of my parents. I tried to fill my head with bad memories of them, it made things easier. But occasionally there would be a happy memory and I would feel weak. It was happening again now, the first time I had experienced light speed on the Falcon. I had only been three at the time but I demanded my father do it each and every time I was on the ship. 

_I sat on my father’s lap as he and Chewie began pressing various buttons on the dashboard of the Falcon. I had no idea what any of those buttons did but I knew I wasn’t allowed to touch them. The ship lurched a little before the stars seemed to mould in to one giant burst of light. I could feel the speed we were traveling at, it made my stomach feel funny. There was no way to explain it. But I loved it. Soon the stars separated and space was normal once more._

_“Still amazed by it huh kid?” Dad asked_.  
_“Yeah.”_  
_“Well one day you’ll need to get used to it.”_  
_“Huh?”_  
_“If you become a Jedi or a smuggler like me this ship will be yours one day. But before all that we’re gonna have some good adventures kid.”_  
_“But mom-“_  
_“You don’t worry about what your mother thinks or wants. You do what you want. No matter what you choose we’ll always be proud of you.”_

I felt wetness on my cheek. I wiped away a single tear, growing angry with myself for letting such a stupid memory get the better of me. I turned to grandfather’s helmet, seeking the strength he once had. Of course my parents had told me of Vader’s demise. He had a moment of weakness but I would not make that same mistake.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Cora’s P.O.V

_I stared up at the giant Wookie before me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Wookie’s had the strength to rip limbs from your sockets. Ben seemed to have no trouble around the Wookie however. Uncle Chewie he called him. Ben and I were tiny compared to him. Ben only came up to the Wookie’s knee, he was currently hugging it now. Chewie picked Ben up to embrace him properly. Ben then demanded a piggyback, which the Wookie happily gave._

_I watched as Chewie ran around with Ben on his shoulders. I smiled to myself. He seemed harmless. I had just never met a Wookie before. Han and Leia stood beside me, watching their son and friend. They had their arms around each other and looked content. Leia turned to me and encouraged me to join Ben and Chewie. Reluctantly I walked over to them as they rolled around in the grass. I smiled kindly at Chewie before Ben dumped a handful of grass on my head._

_I chased after him, ready to get him back from dumping grass on me yet again. Chewie got to his feet and joined the chase, soon overtaking Ben and I. He stopped Ben in his tracks and stopped him from going anywhere. I ripped out two handfuls of grass and threw them at Ben. Ben took off running again after wiping the grass blades from his hair. Chewie plucked a daisy from the grass and held it out to me. I hesitated before taking the small token from his giant furry hand. I thanked him and sat down in the grass._

_I began plucking the daisies around me before going over to Chewie and putting them in his fur. He accepted the gesture, sitting still. Ben came back over and turned his nose up at the girly spectacle. I put the last daisy in and Chewie got to his feet taking my hand in his and Ben’s hand in the other. We walked back over to Han and Leia. I had a Wookie for a friend, how many people got to say that I wonder. Leia explained to Ben and I that Han and Chewie had to leave now, which made Ben kick up a fuss._

_Chewie turned to me and got down on one knee, opening his arms for an embrace. I smiled and hugged him, nestling into his warm fur. I could see why Ben found it comfy to sleep on him. Chewie and Ben hugged before turning to Han. Han looked at Ben expecting an embrace but didn’t receive it without a little convincing on Leia’s part. They embraced awkwardly and it was short too, Han ruffled Ben’s hair which earned him a cold look. Han and Chewie left on the Falcon, the three of us standing to watch as it slowly got smaller and smaller until it was gone. Not for too long I hoped._

I left my room and leant against the wall opposite Chaise. I smiled kindly. I felt the need to work out, I needed to get in much better shape if I was going to beat Ben when it came to ‘training’.  
“Am I allowed into the training room?” I asked.  
“As long as you’re accompanied by someone. Sure.”  
“Would you accompany me?”  
“I don’t see why not.”  
Chaise led me to the training room, which was once again empty. I grabbed a mat, setting it down in a random spot. I removed the top half of my robes, just wearing a sports bra and the bottom half of my robes. 

I began doing a set of twenty press ups before doing the same number of sit ups. I tied my hair back and headed over to the punch bag, beginning my assault. I looked over to find Chaise doing a series of stretches. She was pretty flexible. The door opened and in walked a tall, muscular blonde female. The female’s hair was short and there was a single scar on her cheek, trailing down to her neck. The woman greeted Chaise. Her voice was what made me realise who it was. Phasma. 

I returned my attention to the punch bag, hoping she would leave me be. Unfortunately there was no such luck. I heard her footsteps approach me. Just ignore her and hopefully she’ll leave you be. I was not looking for any kind of confrontation.  
“And what do you need to train for Jedi? Planning on escaping by chance?” Phasma hissed.  
“Nothing wrong with taking care of my body.”  
“Is Ren aware of this?”  
“Probably not, but I’m sure he has no problem with it. As long as Chaise is with me I can leave my room. Might come pay you a visit sometime.”

Phasma’s eyes narrowed and she stopped the punch bag from swinging after my last punch. I sighed and turned to her, looking up a little.  
“Do you mind?” I asked, trying to keep calm.  
“Not at all.”  
“I’m not looking for a fight.”  
“Then you should have thought about that before getting yourself captured.”  
“I told you I’m not looking for a fight so I would appreciate it if you backed off.”  
Phasma only took a step closer, a smirk on her face. It’s like she wanted me to punch her and at this rate I would happily oblige. 

“I thought Jedi were meant to be great fighters, not simply give themselves up to a Hutt,” Phasma continued to taunt, it was obvious she wanted to get a rise out of me.  
I shook my head and turned away from her. I guess working out was done for today.  
“And I thought Jedi weren’t ones to back down after all isn’t that what gets them killed,” she called after me.  
I stopped mid stride, my fists clenching. I couldn’t let her get away with saying that. I turned back to face the tall female, striding over to her until there was a small gap between us.  
“I know you just want a fight Phasma. I’m not going to sink to your level though,” I hissed.  
“You wouldn’t fight fair anyway.”  
“I don’t need a saber or the force to beat you.”

Phasma attempted to punch me but I dodged her attack, kicking her in the side. She grabbed me, spinning me round and putting me in a headlock. I growled as she began to cut off my air supply. I was not going to let her win this. I pushed back so both of us tumbled backwards, Phasma’s body taking the blow. Her grip loosened as she tried to break her fall a little, which gave me my chance to break free. I rolled to the side getting to my feet, landing another kick to Phasma’s side before she grabbed my foot and pulled me down.

Phasma had me under her in a few seconds, pinning me down with her strength. I could see now why this woman was in charge of the Stormtroopers. Chaise had run over now and was attempting to pull Phasma off me. Phasma delivered blow after blow to my face. My head was spinning, I was not going to win this. I wasn’t as strong as I thought. There was the crack of a saber which stopped Phasma’s assault on my face. She climbed off of me and stood her ground. She wasn’t the type of woman who backed down from anything as I had just learnt. 

“That’s enough Captain. Are you foolish like Hux? Not being able to understand that she is my prisoner?” Came Ben’s voice, altered by the helmet.  
“Commander Ren she’s been asking for it since she stepped foot on Starkiller Base.”  
“She’s been asking for a lot of things, I’ve shown restraint I suggest you do the same.”  
Phasma apologised before leaving the room. Not before glancing at me with a smirk on her face of course. Chaise helped me to my feet and Ben sheathed his saber. He shook his head at me, a small tut coming from him. He ordered Chaise to take me to the infirmary to get me cleaned up. My face must be that bad. It certainly felt it. 

Once in the infirmary Chaise sat me down on one of the examining beds where she began to clean my wounds. I could have done it myself, I don’t see why she was being so kind. She was only meant to make sure I didn’t get into trouble.  
“You shouldn’t have fought Phasma,” She said.  
“Oh I’ve learnt my lesson. At least she can’t say I cheated. I gave her a fair fight.”  
“And you got beaten half to death in the process.”  
I shrugged, “I’ve had worse. You think that’s bad you should see some of the Jedi training I had to go through.”

A hint of a smile played at the edges of her lips. She dabbed at my lip with a cotton ball. I could speed up the healing process myself but I guess it was nice to have someone care for me.  
“Your eyes? Was it a gene thing?” I asked.  
“I guess you could say that.”  
I raised an eyebrow, imploring her to continue.  
“I’m half human, half clone. One of General Hux’s experiments,” she explained.  
“Cloning is illegal.”  
“You think the first order care about that?”  
“I suppose not but still.”  
“It has its benefits. It’s not all that bad. I was the only one out of the group to survive the process so that’s a good thing.”  
“That’s why Hux doesn’t like you babysitting me huh?”

She smiled, “it’s one reason.”  
I cocked my head to the side, a knowing smirk on my face. Her eyes met mine, her smile growing.  
“I didn’t think he was the loving type,” I mentioned.  
“He has his rare moments.”  
I felt like I was at some kind of sleepover, giggling and talking about boys with a friend. If Chaise even considered me as a friend, probably not she was just kind hearted. The door opened and Ben entered the room, dismissing Chaise. He stood opposite me, I could tell he wasn’t happy with me.  
“What did you think you would achieve attacking Captain Phasma?” He asked.  
“For starters I didn’t make the first move, she did. Believe it if you want I don’t really care.”  
“And what next? Am I to expect a half beaten Hux?”  
“Don’t tempt me.”

He sighed, taking my chin between his fingers. I made a small sound at the contact. It wasn’t rough for once. It was tender, as if he cared. He turned my head to the side, examining my injuries. The contact broke and I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. She had done a number on me that was for sure. Split lip, bruised cheek and eye as well as a cut eyebrow. It would heal up in no time, it didn’t bother me.  
“Next time try to refrain from attacking my staff,” he spoke.  
“Only if they return the favour.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This should hopefully be the last short chapter

Chapter 6

Ben’s P.O.V

_Cora and I snuck on to the Falcon, heading straight for the cockpit. I hopped in the captain’s chair and she sat in the co pilot's chair. I brought the ship to life and began the take-off process. Cora buckled up, grinning ear to ear. We were only taking the ship for a short joy ride. It was our day off and we had talked about doing something like this for a while. We managed to get the ship in the air, keeping it steady although there was the occasional jerk._

_We had done it, we could fly a ship. And one day the ship would be ours. Just the two of us doing what we wanted. A huge burden would be my off my shoulders when that day arrived. At the sound of footsteps however my stomach sank._  
_“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?!” Came my father’s voice._  
_Shit. Cora looked at me wide eyed, blame shooting my direction._  
_“You said nobody would be on board,” she hissed._  
_I turned to face dad and forced my most innocent smile. He wasn’t having any of it however. It was still his ship. Hopefully mom wouldn’t be as mad._

I waited for Cora to wake up, watching as she slept. Eventually she stirred, making a move to roll over. Her eyes shot open and she struggled against the restraints. I could hear her heartbeat. Her gaze turned to me, fear in her eyes.  
“What’s going on?” She asked.  
“This is the next part of your training.”  
“You couldn’t have waited till I woke up and asked me nicely?”  
“Do you think a sith would really do that? Be grateful I let you wake up naturally.”  
“What the hell has me being back in an interrogation chamber got anything to do with training?”  
“Today’s training will involve resistance.”

She frowned, clearly still mad at me. Her face softened a little before she asked, “did you carry me here?”  
Yes.  
“That doesn’t matter,” I replied.  
I entered her mind, greeted with an early childhood memory. The first time she had set foot in the Jedi temple. That’s when she began to resist and attempt to shut me out. I continued searching her mind, not for anything particular. I felt a small push from her but that was all. She didn’t seem to be trying. 

I let her go and she relaxed against the chair, her breathing a little heavier. I tried again, another memory this time. The first time she had begun crafting her saber using the force. Again another small push but nothing more. I shook my head.  
“Are you even trying?” I asked.  
“Yes.”  
“Again.”  
This time she showed a little more resistance but it wasn’t enough to stop me from finding more memories. 

We kept this up for an hour, each time she showed more resistance but it still wasn’t enough to keep me out. She was getting worked up with herself now and she was clearly exhausted.  
“Just give me a minute,” she breathed heavily.  
“Your enemies won’t give you any time at all.”  
I forced my way into her head again only it wasn’t so much a memory I found this time. It was a dream, the dream that made her wake up screaming most mornings. Of course I had heard it, I just found myself unable to find a way to talk to her about it. 

I saw myself stood over her, my saber drawn. She was pleading for her life, tears in her eyes. I raised my saber and it didn’t take a genius to work out what was going to happen next. That’s when she shut me out, scowling at me. A small trickle of blood trailed from her nose to her lip. Her restraints opened and she wiped the blood away. I suppose that was something she hadn’t wanted me to see even if she had completed this aspect of her training. Cora climbed down from the metal frame and pushed past me, exiting the room. 

So I was the reason she woke up screaming most mornings. Normally I would feel accomplished by that but now I just felt awful. How long had she been having the same dream for? I left the room and headed to her bedroom. I needed to apologise, although I’m sure it wouldn’t do much. I entered her room, knocking would be pointless she would just refuse to open the door.  
“Get out,” she spoke softly.  
I approached her, taking her hands in mine.  
“I’m sorry.”  
She frowned, “since when did you start apologising because you certainly have a lot to apologise for.”  
“I had no idea-“  
“How many casualties your actions left? Really? You didn’t think of how you betraying everyone would affect you parents, your uncle, me?”

She was crying now, tearing her hands away from mine.  
“You wanna know how royally fucked up you made me? Every night I have the same damn nightmare. I make sure to never too close to anyone now because I’m afraid they might leave me like you did. I keep telling myself that I should be alone because everyone I ever cared about has abandoned me,” she sobbed.  
“I didn’t want to hurt anybody Cora, least of all you. If I could change what happened I would but I can’t. The only thing I can do is make sure I don’t hurt you again. That’s a promise.”  
I cupped her cheek, wiping away a tear with my thumb. She flinched a little before accepting the gesture. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few months later 

Cora and I had been training with each other most days now. It was almost like how we used to be when we were children. She was becoming a lot stronger now and I don’t think she had yet to realise my plan for her. Even if I went through with it, I was happy with how she was now. The memories of our childhood weren't so painful anymore either. Cora seemed happier herself too which was always a good sign. 

We were training once again when one of Hux’s men interrupted us. What did he want to complain about now? Or was he too lazy to fetch me himself for a meeting with Snoke?  
“General Hux wishes to speak with you sir,” the man explained.  
“Did he happen to mention the topic of discussion?”  
“I’m afraid not.”  
I sighed and told Cora to wait here before leaving the training room. I headed straight to Hux’s office where he was sat at his desk sorting through paperwork. He stopped when I entered the room, getting to his feet. 

“This better not be a waste of my time General,” I snapped.  
“Of course not. I’m aware of how busy you are,” a smirk on his face that I certainly didn’t like the look of.  
“Get to the point.”  
“I just wanted to remind you of your promise to the Supreme Leader that’s all. How you said you were going to train the Jedi and turn her to the dark side. You’ve had a lot of time to do that. It hasn’t quite happened yet.”  
“These things don’t happen overnight.”  
“Oh I’m aware. But it seems you have no intention of keeping your promise. She seems to be getting the better of you.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“She seems to be the one changing you when it’s meant to the other way round. I don’t think the Supreme Leader would like to hear that.”  
“Are you sure you’re not being delusional again? It’s not the first time you would have wasted his time.”

Hux’s smirk fell, his eyebrows narrowing now. Of course I should have known he wanted to waste my time again.  
“All I’m saying is you seem to be getting a little too close,” he spoke, much less hostility in his voice.  
“Isn’t that how you normally lure someone into a false sense of security? Now if you’re finished wasting my time I’ll leave you to your paperwork.”  
I turned and left his office, feeling his glare on my back not that I cared. I’m sure he liked to think of himself as a threat towards me but if given the choice I would easily dispose of him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so i lied, another short chapter :/  
> But 2 chapters in one night thats not half bad :D

Chapter 7

Cora’s P.O.V

_“Cora I need you to promise me something,” Ben said._  
_“Depending what it is sure.”_  
_“Seriously.”  
_“Alright.”  
_“This has to stay between you and me.”  
_“Alright just tell me already.”_ ___

_Ben took my hand and led me outside of the Jedi temple and over to the cave where we had found out saber crystals. It had sort of become our spot since that day. Although lately Ben had seemed distant. And not just with me but with everyone. Sometimes I would catch him deep in thought, a dark look in his eyes. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried. We reached the cave and Ben led me to the back._

_He used the force to move a small rock formation as if it were some kind of hidden alcove. Inside that small area were what looked like the start of a saber and various parts. I frowned, he already had a saber. Why did he need to make another one? He had already made it clear he had no desire to use two sabers for combat. He took the saber out and held it out to me. I took it in my hand, noticing how it was much heavier than the average saber and there seemed to be a hilt on it as well. That was different._

_“Why do you need another saber?” I asked._  
_“Snoke told me to build a new one.”_  
_“You know I still don’t trust this Snoke you keep talking about. Are you sure he isn’t some imaginary friend?”_  
_Ben’s eyes narrowed and he snatched his saber back, “he’s real!”  
_“Ok, it’s just you know I’ve never met him and you and I seem to be the only person that knows about him.”  
_“Do you trust me?”  
_“You shouldn’t need to question that Ben.”  
_“Then please trust me on this.”_ ____

_I forced a smile and nodded. The things I do for him. Of course I was worried, some random guy starts talking to Ben through his mind that’s not right. And he always got so secretive or defensive about him. I wanted to tell Master Luke but I suppose I valued our friendship more. Ben kept saying one day I would meet Snoke but every time I brought it up, the date just seemed to get further and further away._

Chaise and I were in the training room together, doing our daily routine. Ben said he couldn’t train with me today as he would be in meetings all day. I didn’t mind, I had Chaise for company. She held my feet down while I did sit ups and I returned the favour. The door to the training room opened and a part of me hoped it was Ben getting out of a meeting early so he could spend some time with me. Unfortunately not. It was a handful of storm troopers. 

I thought they would just mind their own business however they approached both of us. Chaise’s body language instantly turned defensive and she got to her feet, standing her ground.  
“The Jedi needs to come with us,” the leader of the small group said.  
“Not unless you give me a good reason too,” I replied.  
“Kylo Ren requires your presence.”  
“He’s in meetings all day, I doubt that.”  
“He said he would have fetched you himself but he’s unable to leave.”  
“Maybe I should ask him myself?”

The troopers looked at each other before raising their blasters. I knew something hadn’t been right. I attempted to use the force on the troopers, the least I could do was take away their blasters. Make it a more fair fight. However the force didn’t work on them. I frowned. It should have worked, all the troopers were humans…right? I was aware there were a few species that the force wouldn’t work on but none of them were storm troopers.  
“You’re coming with us,” the leader spoke.  
“Stand down. The lot of you,” Chaise growled.

They didn’t listen to her, their weapons still raised. She took a step forward, putting herself between the troopers and I.  
“You know what will happen to you if either one us are hurt so I suggest you back off,” She spat.  
They stood their ground. Chaise was fast, she grabbed the leader and twisted his arm behind his back, threatening to break it. The other troopers surrounded her and that’s when I took in to account their height. They were much taller than the average trooper. I kicked a troopers legs out from under them and made a move on the next one. But I was grabbed, my wrists being bound behind my back. 

Chaise tried fighting the rest off but obviously whatever species was wearing the trooper armour was stronger. I let out a scream, hoping someone would hear and come to help. I struggled against the trooper holding me. Chaise was soon knocked unconscious and a blaster was held to my head so I ‘behaved myself’. They led me out of the training room and to the ships hanger which was wide open. I had no idea what planet we were on but it was a cold one that was for sure. All I could see was snow for miles ahead and I was only wearing a sports bra and the bottoms of my robes. 

They forced me forward in to the cold blast of icy air. I shivered. I couldn’t use the force on them but I could use it on myself. I used it to at least keep some kind of body heat so I didn’t freeze to death.  
“Who put you up to this?” I asked.  
They ignored my question and continued leading me further out into the snow. I attempted to make a run for it a couple of times which eventually resulted in a shot to my leg. I screamed which they quickly muffled and dragged me further away from the ship so we would be out of sight. 

Eventually when they were happy with the distance they forced me on to my knees. The leader removed the helmet allowing me to see his face. I was greeted with scales. Now it all made sense. Yinchorri were a reptilian species that were resistant to the force. But I still wanted to know who had put them up to this, it had to be someone who had a lot of money and a high up rank in order to choose where the ship landed. Hux. That bastered. I wonder if Chaise being knocked unconscious had been part of his plan. 

I felt the cool metal of a blaster against the back of my head. I closed my eyes focusing my mind. If I couldn’t use the force on them there was one last thing I could do. Let’s just hope he got here in time.  
_BEN!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS HAPPENING.

Chapter 8

Ben’s P.O.V

I sat at the other end of the meeting table, not really paying much attention to what Hux was saying or suggesting. It was the third meeting of the day so of course my attention had dropped. I stifled a yawn, feeling myself growing tired. I was soon jolted awake however as Cora's voice broke through my mind in a scream. I instantly got to my feet, not bothering to excuse myself as I left.  
_Where are you? What’s wrong?_ I asked.  
_O-outside._ Her voice was weaker this time.  
I ran, using the force to speed myself up. I left the hanger, my boots crunching the snow beneath my feet. I could see them now, up ahead. 

I drew my saber, blocking the blaster fire before slaughtering the reptiles. Cora was face down in the snow, moaning in pain. I removed my hooded cloak and wrapped her in it before picking her up and carrying her back to ship. She was shivering and pale.  
“P-poison,” she whimpered.  
A single dart was in her arm. I tore it out, dropping it in the snow. It didn’t take a genius to work out what had happened. Yinchorri had no quarrel with Cora but someone did. Someone that had a lot of money and power. I would deal with Hux later, first I had to save Cora. I couldn’t trust any of the nurses or doctors that were on the ship, Hux might have paid them too. 

I could use the force to heal her, I could try at the least. It wasn’t something I had done before, not on another person at least. I used the force to open the door to her room and put her down on her bed. Hux had made sure poisoned was used, he wanted it to be slow and painful. I took one of her hands in mine, squeezing it as if to reassure her that everything was going to be ok.  
“I need you to do this with me Cora, I can’t do this on my own,” I spoke.  
She managed a nod and began to use the force as much as she could to heal herself. I focused on getting rid of the poison running through her system. She let out a small moan of pain and I stroked her hair as reassurance. 

Her breathing quickened and she gripped my hand. I squeezed back, closing my eyes for more concentration. Please let this work. I couldn’t loose her. Her breathing slowly returned to normal and colour returned to her cheeks. I breathed a sigh of relief, still clutching her hand. She was still weak though and clearly tired.  
“C-chaise-“She began.  
“Chaise is in the infirmary but she’s fine.”  
“She tried to protect me.”

That I was not aware of. As far as I knew Chaise was in on it because of her involvement with Hux. But I knew Cora wouldn’t lie so I was no longer angry with Chaise. Just Hux and he would certainly get what was coming to him. Cora tried to sit herself up but I quickly stopped her. She needed to rest.  
“Sleep now. I’ll be right here,” I spoke softly.  
She wrapped the bed sheets around her, closing her eyes and rolling on to her side. I waited till her breathing became steady, knowing she was actually asleep. I left her room, using the force to lock it from the inside. I didn’t want any more attempts on her life.

I headed to the meeting room, where a meeting was still taking place. I went inside, heading straight for Hux. I could see it in his eyes. He knew he had been found out. I grabbed him by his hair, slamming him down in to the glass table. There was a slight crack from under him before I turned him on to his back, my hands wrapping around his throat. He was bleeding from his nose, fear evident in his eyes. My grip tightened around his neck and he tried to pull my hands away but he was no way near as strong as I was. 

Some of the others got to their feet, making a move to pull me off of him. I didn’t need to use much force to stop them. Hux’s breathing began to slow.  
“I recall telling you when you have your own prisoner you can punish them how you see fit,” I growled.  
_Let him go._ Came Snokes voice in my mind.  
I refused, only tightening my grip. He needed to pay for what he had done. Everything would be better off without him. He had no use.  
_Kylo let him go!_  
My grip loosened and I took a step back, letting him breathe once more. He coughed, gasping for air. He wiped away the blood running down his face with the back of his hand, this seemed to anger him to know that I had made him bleed. That I had humiliated him in front of all these people. 

“If you so much as look at her again I will kill you,” I promised.  
I left the meeting room and headed straight back to Cora’s room, unlocking the door before I went in. I relocked the door behind me and sat down in a chair that was against the wall and by a small table. She was definitely asleep now. A deep sleep. I removed my helmet and gloves, setting them down on the table. She was on her side, facing me this time. She seemed peaceful, I hoped she didn’t have the same nightmare anymore. 

I hoped that she could trust me now, that she considered me a friend even after all the terrible things I had done. I hoped she could forgive me for them. And that one day I could forgive myself. Hux was right, I hadn’t been the one to change her, she had been the one to change me. Changed me for the better. I couldn’t leave with her but if she wanted to leave here I guess I wouldn’t stop her either. I could see now the damage I had done, it made me wonder why she was still here. She should be with my parents, living her own life. 

I wasn’t worth the fuss. She should know that by now. Everything I touched I destroyed and she was not something I wanted to destroy. My feelings for her had grown, I should have seen that coming. But nothing could happen. I would only put her in more danger. Snoke wouldn’t approve and if he wanted her dead there was nothing I could do about that. She wouldn’t feel the same way and if she did she wouldn’t act on those feelings. The Jedi path was the most important thing to her. I had stopped her fulfilling her goal once, I didn’t want to get in the way again.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

Cora’s P.O.V

I awoke, the lights in my room dimmed as if to signify night from day. I spotted a figure sat by the small table, their head pressed against the wall. Ben. He was sleeping, his helmet and gloves on the table. This was the first time I had seen his face since all this had happened. Why now? Why was this moment so different that he felt comfortable to show me his face? His appearance hadn’t changed much but his hair had definitely grown. Seemed like he took care of it too. 

I crept out of bed, removing his hooded cloak that was still around my neck. I covered him with it to keep him warm. I considered brushing his hair away from his face or kissing his forehead but it was too tender. It would be weird. It was weird enough I had even considered it. I climbed back into bed, wrapping the sheets around myself. I felt safe here with him. Half a year ago I had felt the complete opposite but I could feel a change in him.

He was kinder with the way he spoke to me, some conversations he had been the one to bring up old childhood memories. It felt like I was slowly getting my friend back. Yet I could still sense the darkness within him. He was probably torn between the two sides himself. I could only imagine what a burden that must be. 

A few weeks later

Ben barely left my side now and he was more protective than ever. A part of me kinda liked it. He didn’t wear the helmet around me that much either now. It was nice to talk to him without the helmet being a barrier. Being completely honest with myself I was in love with him and I hated myself for it. Love was not part of the Jedi way for many reasons, this probably being one of them. Two of the most important things in my life and I could only have one. Yes ok Master Luke had changed the old Jedi ways a little, meaning that the relationship would not be split apart but it was still not recommended or approved. 

And he was my friend, he wouldn’t feel the same way. We were just friends and it was only right to remain that way. As much as it pained me not to act upon these feelings I knew it was the right thing to do. I would be considered a traitor if I had a relationship with a Sith. I would either be banished or executed. I would lose everything all for love. I’m sure it would be worse for Ben though. A Sith and a Jedi romantically involved was asking for trouble. I would be seen either as a threat or his biggest weakness. I’m sure he already got enough hassle from Snoke, he didn’t need anymore.

That and I probably wasn’t good enough for him. He would want someone who agreed with his views and plans. Someone who was stronger. I didn’t want to lose my friend either if things were to go wrong. I had no choice but to repress these feelings and hope they went away. If they didn’t then I would have to choose. The Jedi path or love. Using Ben’s grandfather as an example it seemed impossible to have both. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hadn’t seen Chaise for a few days and I was worried about her. Apparently she had locked herself in her room and was refusing to come out for anyone. Even Hux. So something was definitely wrong. I made my way to her room and knocked on the door. I was greeted with a ‘go away’ from the other side of the door.  
“It’s me,” I spoke, knocking again.  
The door opened a crack, Chaises eyes were red from crying and her brown hair was dishevelled.  
“You can’t stay in there forever,” I said softly.

Hesitantly she opened the door wider and allowed me inside. Her room was a lot like my own room. Simple but had everything she needed. The door was closed and locked behind me. She sat down on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands. I sat beside her, putting my hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner.  
“You’ll feel better if you talk about it,” I said.  
“That’s what he said.”  
“Hux?”  
“Cora I’m so sorry about what happened, I honestly had no idea he had planned that. I’m so mad at him, if I had known I never would have-“  
“It’s ok, you have nothing to apologise for. I know you had no part in it.”  
“It still doesn’t excuse what he did.”

No it didn’t but Ben had told me he had dealt with it and I wasn’t allowed anywhere near him at least not without Ben there.  
“Is that why you’ve been in your room like this?” I asked.  
“It’s one of the reasons.”  
“You wanna tell me the others?”  
“I’m not good enough for him or for anyone, I mean who wants to be with a human droid hybrid?”  
“Hux does.”  
“He can do better.”  
“I highly doubt that with his social skills.”

This made her chuckle.  
“He’s not all that bad, I mean sure I don’t agree with some of the things he does but when you’re in love your brain seems to block all that out as if it’s not actually happening. As long as it doesn’t involve you it seems to be ok. You look past all the bad things they do because you love them.”  
Maybe that explained why I was so in love with Ben, I was starting to block out all the bad things he did. I hadn’t felt as happy as I was with him in a long time. I felt content around him as if everything else was background noise. I longed for the times in the day that I could spend with him and I ached when we had to be apart, when I was alone once more. 

Chaise continued, “I always thought being infertile was a good thing but I keep thinking what if he wants a child one day. I would never be able to give him that.”  
“That doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, were you not listening to what you said, love makes you look past all the bad stuff. So what if your half droid, half human. Your one of a kind, special and he is damn well lucky to have someone who loves him with the way he treats people.”  
Chaise dried her eyes. Maybe I needed to pay Hux a visit myself, not that I liked playing matchmaker but maybe he needed a shove in the right direction. 

“So you still wanna stay in this room now?” I asked.  
“I suppose I shouldn’t.”  
“Who else would I work out with?”  
This made her smile. She got to her feet and I decided to take my leave. She probably wanted to talk to Hux now and I didn’t want to intrude. I headed back to my own room. I decided to meditate maybe that would help me make a decision, the right decision.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment im hoping everyones been waiting for.  
> Smut time.

Chapter 10

Ben’s P.O.V

I entered Cora’s room, her saber in hand. I trusted her enough now to let her have it again. As long as it stayed in her room that was. But she knew not to do anything stupid. She was sat on the floor, legs crossed and her eyes closed. Meditating again. Waste of time in my opinion. One of her eyes opened and she frowned before getting to her feet.  
“And why have you interrupted me this time?” She asked.  
“I felt it was time that you could have this back.”

I held her saber out to her. She looked at it, debating whether or not to take it. Her gaze returned to me and she shook her head. I frowned. She had been going on and on about having this back and now when I felt comfortable to do so she refuses. Why did women have to be so confusing?  
“Keep it,” she spoke softly.  
“I thought it would make you feel safer, you’ve been going on about it plenty of times.”  
“I have no use for it. Not here at least. That and I’ve been getting these…feelings that are making me wonder if I should remain a Jedi.”

I took a small step towards her. There were two main feelings that Jedi were not allowed to feel but mostly act upon. Hate and love. Her training had improved so maybe she was starting to see sense, maybe soon she would join me and the dark side. I could just go in to her mind and see for myself how she felt but I’m pretty sure that would cause us to back track once again. That and I hated it when she was angry with me. 

“And before you ask, no I don’t want to talk about it,” Cora said matter of factly.  
I put my hands up in defence, backing off, “I wasn’t going to say anything.”  
“Can I go back to meditating?”  
“Sure.”  
I left her room, closing the door behind me. She was probably meditating in the hopes of an answer whether it be through a force vision or not. I hoped she got the answer she wanted. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cora was not in her room like I had expected, which had brought on a wave of panic. She could be in the training room with Chaise. That was my only likely option and if she wasn’t there then I was only going to think the worst. What if Hux made another attempt on her life? And what if he was successful this time? I quickened my pace to the training room. I would run but I couldn’t be seen panicking. Then what would people think of me? The training room was empty and more panic set in. Where the hell was she? Hux must had done something. I was going to kill him this time. I changed direction heading straight for Hux’s office. On my way there I had to go through the ship's bridge. 

There leaning against a rail was Cora gazing out of the window portal. The panic I had felt before was gone, only to be replaced by anger. What was she playing at? I had told her to never leave her room unless accompanied by Chaise or myself. It was for her own safety. She felt my presence and turned to face me, smiling sweetly. I couldn’t stay mad at her when she looked at me like that.  
“I told you to stay in your room,” I spoke.  
“I just wanted to see the stars again. I’m sorry for worrying you,” she replied a hint of longing in her voice.

I joined her star gazing, keeping my distance, I didn’t want any curious staff thinking something was going on between us. Not that anybody was around but anybody could walk in at any moment. I noticed the look on her face, the same as a caged bird. She longed for freedom and so did I.  
_You can leave if you wanted. You’re not a prisoner anymore._ I spoke using my mind.  
She turned to face me, the look on her face was one of disbelief.  
_I can’t._ She replied.  
_Yes you can. You can still have a life. I already took part of it away from you, I shouldn’t consume the rest of it. You deserve to be happy.  
_As do you._ _

A monster like me didn’t deserve anything, least of all her.  
_It’s beautiful isn’t it?_ She was quick to change the topic of conversation.  
I could think of something far more beautiful than the galaxy. I gazed at her, I would never be able to have her, not with the path I had chosen. I returned my gaze to the stars before she caught me staring. She was more beautiful than any galaxy or any constellation. Without quite realising my hand was on hers. She glanced at our hands, then me, then our hands once more before entwining her fingers with my gloved ones. 

A small smile had crept on to her face and she squeezed my hand. My heart hammered against my chest so loud she could probably hear it. I had never exactly been in a romantic relationship, I needed to her actually confirm she felt the same way before I made a fool of myself.  
_Is this why you were considering giving up on the Jedi path?_ I asked.  
_I’ve made my choice Ben. I can’t have both. I would rather have you._  
That was all the confirmation I needed. I managed to restrain myself from pulling her into my arms. Cora turned to face me, her hands going to the sides of my helmet. She smiled, pulling my head down a little so she could reach to place a kiss above the eyepiece. 

_It’s always been you Ben. I’ve always chosen you and I always will. You’re everything to me._  
At that point we were interrupted by Chaise. She smiled kindly at Cora and nodded her head in respect towards me.  
“Training time…or am I interrupting?” Chaise asked Cora.  
“No, no we were just talking.”  
Cora headed to the exit, stealing one last glance and smile at me before she was out of sight. I was practically grinning, my cheeks hurting because of it. I was far too happy to think of all the problems our relationship would cause. If anyone found out of course. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the weeks Cora and I shared any romantic moments in our rooms where we wouldn’t be seen. It was only various hugs and kisses, I wasn’t used to showing my emotions to people. Cora didn’t seem to mind, she had said she wanted to take it one day at a time anyway. I couldn’t have anybody finding out about us. It would only put her in more danger. I couldn’t risk losing her before but now that risk became greater and I knew I wouldn’t be able to bear the pain if the worst happened. Snoke wouldn’t approve for starters and would probably have her killed. And if Hux found out he would run off to tell Snoke like the approval seeking child he was. 

Cora knew of the risks herself but she didn’t seem too bothered by them. At least she didn’t show it. We hadn’t slept in the same bed yet, didn’t want to risk someone catching either of us leaving the others bedroom in the morning. So instead we stayed up late talking to each other using our minds. Just how we used to when we were children. Cora made the pain I felt bearable. She could make me forget about everything in the moments I shared with her. With her I could be myself, Ben Solo. I had missed being myself but with her it seemed anything was possible.

I sat at the dining table, still waiting for Cora to join me. I glanced at the clock, she was ten minutes late. Maybe I had done something wrong and she was sulking in her room. Maybe asking her to wear a dress was too much and she was being stubborn. I stood up and went to leave when Cora entered wearing a thin figure hugging, simple black dress. I froze, unable to look away. This was the first time I had seen her in a dress, any other time she was wearing Jedi robes. She looked breathtaking. I took her hand in mine, pressing my lips to her skin. 

She accepted the gesture and we sat at the dining table. I wish I had changed into something nicer myself seeing as she made an effort. Hux and Phasma were away on business so I felt I could express my feelings more towards Cora without the risk of either of them walking in at any moment. We both ate in a comfortable silence. I couldn’t help glancing at her every ten seconds. She looked completely different in a dress especially one that accentuated her figure. 

We finished dinner although Cora began tugging at various parts of the dress, glaring at the material.  
“This is why I don’t wear these things,” she complained.  
“I think you look beautiful, I mean you always do but the dress really helps.”  
She seemed to relax a little, leaving the dress alone. She should be grateful it was a simple one. There were much more complicated dresses out there that I know she would turn her nose up at.  
“How long are Hux and Phasma away for?” She asked.  
“Just the week.”

She nodded, taking a sip from her glass, “shame it isn’t longer.”  
“I can find some excuse for Hux to not come back if you want.”  
“No, that’s not fair on Chaise.”  
She got to her feet, going over to the window. Even as a child half of her free time she would spend star gazing. I joined her at the window, lacing my fingers with hers.  
“Shame this week can’t last forever,” she said sadly.  
“I wish that every moment with you would last forever.”  
Cora turned to me, smiling, “since when did you start saying nice things like that?”  
“Always have. Maybe you just don’t pay attention.”

I leaned down and captured her lips with mine. I tangled my fingers in her hair deepening the kiss. I needed her, needed her to make me feel whole again. We continued kissing each other until Cora began to get a little breathless. I picked her up wedding style and carried her to my quarters. I placed her down gently and closed the door behind us. I wrapped my arms around her again and kissed her.  
“I’ve never done this before,” I confessed.  
“Neither have I. So just do what feels right.”

I kissed her once more before moving my lips down to her exposed neck and collar. Her breathing became heavy at my actions, her hands moving up my chest to undress me. She frowned as she attempted to remove my robes. I chuckled and took her hands in mine.  
“How the hell do you even get this off?” She grumbled.  
“Would you like a demonstration?”  
“If your offering,” she grinned.  
Keeping her hands in mine, I guided them to where they needed to find various zips and buttons.  
“You know when I undress you, you’re meant to have less clothes on not more underneath,” she joked.

I spun her round and unzipped her dress, kissing the skin that was revealed to me. Once her arms were out of the dress she let it drop to the floor in a black pool around her ankles. All she was left in now were black panties and her shoes. She turned to face me, my eyes instantly drawn to her chest.  
“You’re still wearing too much,” she spoke.  
Her hands moved to the hem of my undershirt, pulling it off. Her fingers lightly trailed down my chest. I pulled her flush against me revelling in the way her skin felt against mine before capturing her lips once more. I traced her spine with the tips of my fingers, causing her to shiver and arch in to me. 

I was scared to touch her. Everything I normally touched I destroyed. What if I did something wrong? Cora finished taking off the rest of my clothes so we were just left in our underwear now. Her fingers were in my hair, tugging gently as my lips worked against hers. I groaned softly as she tugged again, my need for her growing. I took her bottom lip between my teeth, nipping gently. Her free hand rested against my chest, trailing lower and lower each second. 

She soon reached her target and began rubbing me through my boxers. Fuck. The proud smile on her face told me she knew exactly what effect she was having on me. It was as if the slightest touch from her rendered me paralyzed, unable to form a thought let alone coherent words. I picked her up once more, her legs wrapping around my waist as I carried her to the bed. She pulled me down with her, her lips on mine. 

I began kissing my way down her body, stopping at her breasts. I took a hardened nub in my mouth, enjoying the way she gasped at the new feeling. One hand worked on her other nipple whilst the other rested between her legs. Her legs opened for me instinctively as I began rubbing her through the thin material of her panties. She let out a series of breathy moans at my actions. I soon pulled her panties off before returning to my previous actions. 

I slipped a finger inside her starting a gentle pace. Her fingers tangled in my hair, her other hand gripping the sheets. I soon added a second finger, moaning against her as she took me in her hand once more. I knew I wasn’t going to last long at all but there was no way I was going to last at all with her actions. I forced myself to grab her wrist, begging her to stop with my eyes. I wanted to make this last as I long as I could. 

I picked up the pace with my fingers, her hips bucking in to my hand as she writhed and moaned against the sheets. I used my thumb to rub her clit in time with the thrusting of my fingers, her hips becoming less controllable. Her eyes closed tight and she bit down on her bottom lip to control the volume of her moans. I had waited long enough, I needed to have her now. 

I pulled my fingers out of her heat, earning a disappointed whine from her. I sucked my fingers clean of her juices. I had to restrain myself from diving between her legs and tasting more of her. I leaned down kissing her again as I slowly pushed my way inside, making sure she was ok and wasn’t in any kind of pain or discomfort. She smiled and kissed me for reassurance that she was fine. Once I was fully in I started a gentle pace. 

Cora wrapped her legs around me, forcing me deeper which brought moans from the both of us. I pressed my forehead against hers whilst her hands went to my shoulders, gripping me tightly. I moved my lips down to her neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive flesh. I sucked a small purple mark on to her skin as if it were a reminder that she was mine. Cora let out a soft plea for more and I happily complied speeding up the pace a little as well as getting a little harder. 

We would definitely be doing this more often. I groaned at the change of pace, gripping her hips. Her nails began to claw at my shoulders working their way down my back. My eyes shut instinctively, moaning at the sharp pain mixed with the pleasure. Knowing the effect it had on me she did it every now and again. I could feel myself building and had to slow down eventually stopping so that I wouldn’t be thrown over the edge so soon. We just lay there panting, holding each other for a little while. 

I began the pace again, Cora moaning my name. My real name. I swallowed hard, wanting to hear it again. I needed her to say it, to call me by my birth name. She made me feel human again.  
“Again, please,” I breathed.  
She complied, her gaze meeting mine as she did. She pulled me down for a loving kiss, her fingers in my hair once more. I needed to make her finish before I did. I reached between our bodies, finding her clit again. I began rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves in a circular motion, her grip on me getting tighter and her moans and gasps getting louder. 

I could feel her getting tighter around me, edging me further and further to my own climax. I bit my lip, focusing on getting her off before myself. A few more thrusts and she climaxed crying out my name, clinging to me whilst her hips bucked against mine. Her legs were shaking a little and her breathing was ragged. I couldn’t hold out any longer and reached my own climax with a guttural moan of her name. 

We lay there for a few moments coming down from our highs. Cora smiled and kissed my forehead before I pulled out of her. I lay beside her, pulling her in to my arms and stroking her hair. It felt like the moment where you say things like ‘I love you’ or something along those lines. I remained silent just holding her against me. In this moment with her I felt…normal. There was no First Order, no Snoke, no dark side and light side. Just me and her in this one perfect moment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut/Fluff/Fluff Smut  
> Yo welcome :D

Chapter 11

Cora’s P.O.V

I awoke to a pleasurable feeling between my legs. I let out a sleepy groan, unaware of the body shape under the covers and between my legs. I rubbed my eyes before opening them. The pleasurable feeling continued and I lifted the covers, finding Ben with his head between my legs. I smiled to myself.  
“Good morning to you too,” I spoke softly.  
He looked up and smiled, kissing my thigh before returning to his previous actions. My head hit the pillow and my fingers tangled in Ben’s hair, leading him to where I needed him the most. Maybe I would have to return the favour one morning. 

Ben took my legs, placing them over his shoulders for better access as his tongue traced various patterns on my clit. I let out a louder moan, my hips bucking a little. Ben smiled against me, holding my hips down. He took two fingers, sliding them inside me. I bit my lip so I didn’t get too loud. He started a lazy pace with his fingers, occasionally curling them to keep me on my toes. I moaned his name as he curled them. I could feel my climax building in my stomach. My hips bucked a little more and my legs started to shake. 

“B-ben please,” I managed to speak.  
He continued not letting up for a second. He groaned against me as I tugged on his hair again. I couldn’t help but moan his name over and over again as he brought me to my climax. Ben continued his motions through my orgasm, drawing it out. Ben kissed his way back up my body until he reached my lips. He smiled down at me, stroking my hair.  
“I could get used to that each morning,” I said sleepily.  
“I’d be more than happy too.”

I kissed his forehead before climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom for a shower. I turned the hot water on and stepped under the warm spray. I wish that I had said something along the lines of him joining me, I hoped he would use his own brain though. I smiled as I felt his arms wrap around me from behind. He rested his chin on my shoulder, breathing me in.  
“You are intoxicating,” he spoke.  
My smile grew as his arousal pressed against me. I suppose it wasn’t fair to leave him in such a state. 

I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him softly. He smiled into the kiss, pushing me into the cold, wet tiles. He hooked one of my legs over his hip, his hands on my hips. We continued kissing each other until we were breathless, our hands exploring each other’s bodies, earning various moans and groans. I couldn’t take much more, I needed to feel him again.  
“Please,” I said just above a whisper. 

Both of us moaned as he pushed his way inside slowly. I clung to his shoulders as he started a fast pace. He pulled my hips down to meet him with each thrust, forcing louder moans from both of us. I grabbed a fistful of his wet hair, bringing his lips to mine once more. This wasn’t exactly the easiest of positions so eventually we changed positions, me facing the wall, bent forward a little. The sounds of skin on skin and our moans was drowned out by the running water. 

I pushed myself back against him increasing the pleasure. His fingers worked their way through my wet hair, wrapping it around his hand and pulling a little. His other hand moved down to my already stimulated clit. I let out a loud moan, my back arching a little. My hands ran over the wet tiles desperate for something to cling too. At first there was no timing or pace I could get used to as he rubbed my clit and continued thrusting into me. Eventually though he began some sort of rhythm.

With that it didn’t take me much longer to reach my second climax of the morning, crying out his name. My eyes shut tight as he continued working me through my orgasm again. If it wasn’t for his hands on my hips I would have lost my balance. He soon finished himself, cursing quietly as he buried himself inside me fully. He eventually pulled out and turned me round to face him, kissing me softly. I smiled into the kiss, wrapping my arms around him. I rested my head against his chest as I continued to come down from my high. 

Eventually we left the shower, changing into clean clothes. Ben kissed my forehead before putting the helmet on and leaving the room. I couldn’t keep him from his work even if I didn’t agree with it. But I didn’t want to ruin the bliss that was the moments we shared together. I went back to my own room, smiling to myself. For the first time in awhile I felt happy. We hadn’t exchanged ‘I love you’s’ yet but I felt it didn’t need to be said. He should know I love him. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awaited Ben’s arrival, he had been away for a few days. Something to do with Snoke so I knew whatever it was I wasn’t going to approve. But that didn’t matter right now. I missed him. I was lonely here without him. The only person I had was Chaise and I couldn’t be with her all the time. She had a life of her own. I needed to find a new hobby now that I wasn’t taking the Jedi path. I knew better than to venture out of my room alone especially now that Ben wasn’t around to protect me from people like Hux or Phasma. I’m surprised the two hadn’t come barging in as soon as Ben had left and murdered me. 

I felt his presence before anything else. A smile formed at the corner of my lips. I left my room, heading to the ship's hangar to meet him. I reached the hanger and watched as he exited the ship. With the amount of people around I had to resist throwing myself into his arms. That could come later in the safety of our room. He had a reputation to keep and I had to respect that. I noticed however that he was walking with a slight limp and the way he carried himself was different. I bit my tongue to stop myself from asking what that monster had done to him. 

We left the hanger and headed back to our room. As soon as the door closed he removed the helmet and kissed me hard as if he needed me like he needed air to breathe. It was nice to know I had been missed. He sat down on our bed, wincing a little. I couldn’t stay silent, I had to know.  
“What happened?” I asked, deciding to be vague as to not cause an argument.  
“Just training. Nothing for you to worry about.”  
I swallowed hard, keeping my mouth shut. I was going to worry about him no matter what. I forced myself to smile before heading to the bathroom and running him a bath. He looked like he could do with it. 

Once the bath was full I added various salts, some for healing and others for relaxation. I went back into the bedroom and helped him undress. Now I could see the full extent of his injuries. Old and new scars littered his back and his chest. His legs were bruised and a bandage was wrapped around his shoulder. I helped him into the bath and knelt by the side of the tub. He let out a sound of contentment, his head leaning back a little. I smiled, simply happy to be in his presence once more even if worry was the heavier emotion right now. 

I soon changed position so I was knelt at the end of the tub where his head rested. I began to wash his hair, massaging his scalp as I rubbed the shampoo into his hair. He let out a soft groan as I did, relaxing into my touch. He lowered himself in to the bath to rinse his hair. As he came back up, his hair now clean I kissed his forehead.  
“I missed you. So much,” he spoke softly.  
I smiled, taking his hand in mine, “I missed you too.”  
“I mean it. It was…difficult being away from you.”  
“Well you’re here now, that’s all the matters.”

He squeezed my hand before bringing it to his lips. He stayed in the bath a little longer until the water began to grow cold. He climbed out of the bath, drying himself before wrapping the towel around his waist. I went back to the bedroom, changing into some bed clothes. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time I changed. He placed his hands on my shoulders, pushing the pathetic straps of the nightgown down my arms. He began peppering my neck and shoulders with soft kisses.  
“Is this what you missed?” I asked.  
“Not just this. I missed being around you. Your voice whether it be in my head or not, your touch,” he spun me round to face him, cupping my chin and bringing his lips to mine, “the way your lips feel on mine. Do I need to go on?”

I shook my head, removing the towel around his waist. My nightgown was soon on the floor as well, my body pressing against his. Our lips met again as we fell back on to the bed. I ended up on top for once. I sighed as his hands began exploring my body. I took his hands in mine, lacing our fingers together as I slid myself down on to him slowly. I let out a long drawn out moan, squeezing his hands. I began riding him slowly, my eyes never leaving his face. I wanted to see him come undone for me. 

Ben matched my pace although he was gentler than usual, not that I minded. He traced the curves of my body with his hand, squeezing my breasts. I moaned as I sped up, bracing my hands against his chest so I wouldn’t lose my balance. Again he matched my pace, lifting me up and down a little by my hips. Ben pushed me down into him so he could kiss me, moaning into my mouth. I pressed my forehead against his, needing more of his touch. 

I had been starved of him for almost a week, any longer and I wouldn’t have been able to bear it. Ben moaned my name, burying his face into my neck. He was starting to loose himself as he started a much faster, harder pace. I sat back up determined to match his pace, rolling my hips a little which only seemed to spur him on. He reached between our bodies finding my clit. His eyes met mine, watching me as he neared me to my climax.

It hit me so suddenly, my back arching. I cried out his name, my eyes almost completely rolling back in their sockets. A few more thrusts and he came with a soft growl, his hips stuttering a little. I lay on top of him, breathing heavily. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. Eventually I climbed off of him, pulling him close so his head was resting against my chest. I smiled to myself, my fingers in his hair, playing with various strands. He was soon asleep in my arms, my smile growing a little more before I fell asleep myself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah cliffhangers and everything going to shit, sorry for any hearts i'm breaking but it's only gonna get worse.

Chapter 12

Ben’s P.O.V

_I stepped off the falcon, taking in my surroundings. In the distance was a huge stone building which I assumed to be the Jedi temple. My new ‘home’. I turned back to my parents, hoping they would change their mind about this and take me home. No such luck. My mother smiled kindly and kissed my cheek before urging me forward. My father kept his distance however._  
“See you soon kid,” he spoke.  
I turned away from them, telling myself over and over not to cry. I forced my feet forward towards the temple. Uncle Luke would be waiting. 

_Uncle Luke was waiting as expected, he smiled kindly. He placed his hand on my shoulder in greeting before showing me around the temple. I could feel another force presence follow us throughout the temple, it made me uncomfortable. Uncle Luke didn’t let on if he knew we were being followed, which made me feel worse. He showed me where I would be sleeping and began to introduce the padawans he was already training. He frowned and began to count the children before him._

_A knowing smile formed on his face and he turned looking up at the rafters where a small girl with black hair was perched. She jumped down, grinning at him._  
“I could sense you the moment you started following us,” Luke smirked.  
She made a face at him before joining the rest of the padawans.  
“And this little rascal is Cora. Watch out for her,” Luke warned in a joking manner.  
“I’m not that bad,” Cora shot back. 

_Uncle Luke left the room so that all of us could get acquainted. After simple introductions with the others they went their separate ways. Cora stayed though. She was definitely pretty. And she seemed nice._  
“So your Master Luke’s nephew?” She asked.  
“Yes.”  
“That’s so cool.”  
I shrugged. It wasn’t anything really. He was just family, just because he trained Jedi didn’t mean he was cool. Cora on the other hand seemed nice, a little weird but nice. 

I left the meeting room and headed to where I had asked Cora to meet me. As far as we knew nobody but us knew about the relationship and we were determined to keep it that way. I opened the door to the supply closet, finding Cora inside. She smiled, pulling me in to her arms. We shouldn’t really be sneaking around and risking things like this but I couldn’t keep away. I needed her and the little time we got to share wasn’t enough. I remove my helmet, placing it on a shelf. 

I kissed her, pushing her against the wall.  
“How long do we have?” She asked.  
“Ten minutes before the next meeting starts.”  
“I’m sure they won’t miss you if you show up a little late.”  
“Hux will suspect something. I can’t let him find out about us.”  
She sighed but nodded understandingly. I kissed her again and she seemed to relax, wrapping her arms around me. I nipped at her bottom lip, earning a soft moan. 

My tongue worked its way in her mouth, meeting hers. Her fingers tangled in my hair, whilst her free hand made its journey south. Cora reached her target after manoeuvring through various layers of clothing. I groaned as she began palming me through my trousers. I picked her up, using the wall for leverage as she wrapped her legs around my waist. Our lips connected once more, my hips bucking against her hand. Her hands went to my shoulders to keep herself steady, I growled at the loss of contact. I ground her hips against mine, making up for the loss of contact. 

She moaned, rolling her hips against mine for more friction. One of my hands moved to the front of her robes, pulling them loose freeing her breasts. I kissed a trail from her neck down to her breasts, taking a nipple between my teeth. She let out a breathy moan, her fingers in my hair once more. She tugged on my hair a little before pulling me back up to her lips. I forced myself to pull away, I had to check the time. Keeping her pressed against the wall, I grabbed the small data pad that was kept in the closet. I had to go. 

Her breathing was heavy and she let out a sound of frustration as I put her down. She adjusted her robes and crossed her arms over her chest.  
“Don’t be like that you know I’ll make up for it later,” I said.  
“Still, I’m tempted to make a scene just to get you out of your meeting.”  
“Don’t,” my tone changed to the one of an adult warning a child.  
“I won’t,” she kissed me as if to reassure me.  
She handed me my helmet and I put it back on before leaving the supply closet and heading back to the meeting room. 

Before entering I made sure my robes were in their usual place and I looked relatively normal. I entered the room, Hux’s attention instantly turned to me. I took my usual seat at the other end of the table and waited for the rest of the seats to be filled.  
“Is the Supreme Leader aware of your liaison with the Jedi?” He asked, a wicked smirk on his features.  
My hand went to my saber, ready to use in case he continued to push me.  
“By your silence I’ll take that as a no,” Hux continued.  
“I think you’re imagining things General. Maybe too much work is getting to you. I’m sure the Supreme Leader could find someone who reacts better under pressure.”

His eyes narrowed, “I don’t have tantrums and destroy computers when I’m under pressure. And I have some self-control unlike yourself.”  
“You call self-control dragging Chaise in to your office? Or finding excuses for her to visit you.”  
“My relationship with Chaise has nothing to do with this.”  
“It does when you choose to bring up mine. I suggest you keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your head.”  
No sooner had I finished speaking various people entered the room and took their seats at the table. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once all the meetings were finished I headed back to my quarters, finding Cora strewn across the bed reading. She looked up and smiled as I entered the room. I removed my helmet, setting it down and sitting on the bed. Cora could see something was wrong and wrapped her arms around me, resting her chin on my shoulder.  
“Hux knows,” I spoke.  
Cora moved round to my side, I could sense her fear. She knew he would go to Snoke if provoked.  
“What do we do?” She asked, panic evident in her voice.  
“There’s nothing we can do. If we threaten him then he will definitely tell Snoke. If we kill him then Snokes going to wonder why. We just have to hope he keeps his mouth shut.”  
“He already tried to have me killed Ben there’s a zero percent chance he’ll keep his mouth shut.”

Cora was on her feet, pacing the room. It was a nervous habit of hers.  
“Please calm down,” I said, getting to my feet.  
“How can I? We can’t just leave it. Hux is going to tell him and then what? Snoke will probably kill me.”  
“I won’t let that happen.”  
I pulled her in to my arms, stroking her hair in a soothing manner. I needed to calm her down first.  
“We should leave,” she suggested.  
“You know I can’t.”  
“You keep saying that but I thought I would be a good enough reason, the fact that I could die still isn’t a good enough reason?”  
“I didn’t say that. Stop jumping to conclusions. You don’t know a damn thing about Snoke and what he’s capable of!” I snapped.

She flinched, stepping back and away from me. I instantly regretted snapping at her especially when she looked at me like that. She looked like a wounded animal.  
“Cora I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“I began.  
“No your right. I don’t know a damn thing and because you won’t give me any answers I’ll get them straight from the source.”  
Cora stormed out of the room and I remained in place, confused by what she meant. That’s when it dawned on me. She was going to see Snoke herself.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Cora’s P.O.V

I entered the huge room, sticking to the walkway which eventually opened out to a small raised platform. Next to it was a data pad which was probably used to communicate with Snoke. I sent a transmission signal. He wouldn’t be expecting me. Before me came a hologram and it wasn’t a small one either. This one towered over me and took up most of the back of the room. Snoke wasn’t how I imagined at all. He was bald, his skin looked almost like it had been burnt and there were various scars. His eyes were pure black voids, much like the simple black robe he wore. 

He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned forward. I stood my ground. I was too angry to be afraid right now. Snoke seemed to relax and sat back in his chair. He could probably kill me if he was indeed strong in the force but then again being on this damn ship there were a million things that could kill me.  
“And how did you get in here Jedi?” His voice boomed.  
“I’m not a Jedi anymore. I came here for answers.”  
“If you’re not a Jedi then what are you?”

I shrugged, forcing a smile, “I’ve been trying to work that out myself lately.”  
His face twisted in an ugly smirk, obviously there was something he knew that I didn’t.  
“Your training is going well then?” He asked.  
“My training?”  
“You’re training with Ren.”  
I was still confused but then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. My training was nothing to do with improving my Jedi skills at all. He was training me to become a Sith like him. I had been so blinded by love that I hadn’t seen that. 

This sudden realization dawning on me I didn’t care about answers. I had gotten one. Ben had used me, used love to manipulate me. That’s why he kept saying he couldn’t leave. The door opened behind us and Ben entered the room, his helmet back in place. He began spouting excuses and apologises to Snoke.  
“Supreme Leader I’m so sorry this has happened. I can assure you that it will never happen again,” he stood beside me on the platform.  
I didn’t turn to look at him, I couldn’t. The moment I did I would start crying. I kept my head down, focusing on my shoes. 

I didn’t even pay attention to what they were saying. Their conversation came to a close and the hologram image faded until it was just the wall in front of me. Ben let out a sigh of relief and turned me to face him. He took my hands in his, squeezing them in the hope of a response.  
“Cora what did he tell you?” He asked.  
“Everything,” my voice was small in the hopes that I didn’t start crying.  
Ben tilted my chin so that I met his gaze. He had taken his helmet off during the conversation but I had been too broken too notice. 

“Please don’t ever do that again, I can’t lose you,” he said softly.  
“Just stop please. You don’t have to lie to me anymore.”  
“Cora-“  
“I should have seen it coming but I really thought that I meant something to you. That you were still in there. I guess I was wrong. I won’t make that mistake again.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Stop pretending! You only pretended to love me so that I would become a Sith.”

He seemed taken back by this and I tore my hands out of his grip. As he took one step toward me I took one step back. I should never have come here in the first place. I should have stayed with Leia. I never should have tried to play the hero. He had well and truly taken everything from me. My homes, my family, my friends, my fucking virginity.  
“You even pretended to be a virgin didn’t you?”  
“What? No. Cora everything that has happened between us, it was real. I’ve never lied to you, I never would.”

I turned and left the room. No sooner was I outside I heard the sound of his saber igniting. I froze in fear. Was he coming to kill me now that I had learnt the truth? The sound of machinery being destroyed came from the room instead as well as various shouts of anger. I went back to my old bedroom, finding it as I left it. I locked the door, falling into a heap on my bed. I curled up into a ball letting myself cry now that I was out of sight. 

I should leave. I should find out where Leia is and go back to her. Back to what little family I had. I would have to tell her that her son was a lost cause that he was well and truly a monster. I would have failed again but it was better to live with that than remaining here. But I had no way of leaving, I couldn't send a transmission to Leia without risking The First Order finding her and murdering her. I couldn’t just take a ship and leave, I would probably be shot down as soon as I got into space. 

I wiped my eyes, composing myself. I had strayed from the Jedi path, I wouldn’t let it happen again. I just hoped I could be forgiven for my mistake. Now I could see why relationships were not recommended and why the old order had completely banned them. I guess I should be thankful that I had found out the truth before I had actually turned to the dark side. I sat crossed legged on the floor, closed my eyes and began to meditate. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hadn’t left my room since the ordeal with Snoke and Ben hadn’t attempted to visit me at all. I was thankful for that much, it had made things easier. Although he had made sure food was sent to my room, whether I ate it or not was up to me. At least I didn’t have to drink that stupid herbal tea that acted as contraception anymore. I made sure it was sent back to the medical wing seeing as I had no use for it anymore. 

There was a soft knock on the door which brought me out of my meditation. I glared at the door, sensing his presence. I remained where I was, hugging my knees to my chest. If I just stayed quiet he should go away.  
“Cora please open the door. We need to talk about this,” came his voice.  
I shook my head, we didn’t need to talk about anything. He just needed to leave me alone.  
“I’m not going away until you open the door.”  
Well you’re going to be standing out there for a long time. 

As if he had read my thoughts which was likely he entered my room, closing the door behind him. I got to my feet, stepping away from him. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. He removed his helmet, setting it down on the small table. I refused to look directly at him.  
“I’m sure that you want some sort of explanation. I told Snoke that I was training you so that he wouldn’t kill you, so that you could stay alive. I did it to protect you,” he explained.  
I remained silent. I had nothing to say to him. It was all going to be more lies anyway.

“You’re really going to believe Snoke over me? After everything we’ve been through?” He asked, hurt evident in his voice.  
“Why would he lie?”  
“Because that’s what he does. He manipulates people in order to get what he wants. That’s what he did to me as a child.”  
“Well you clearly learnt from the best.”  
“I wouldn’t do that to you. Is there no way I can get you to believe me?”  
“Let me leave and promise that you won’t come after me. Oh wait, you probably can’t do that can you. You’ll probably just hunt me down and kill me, then you have successfully wiped out all the remaining Jedi.”

I could see he was getting frustrated now but that didn’t faze me.  
“Or I could go back to your mother but that would then put her in danger wouldn’t it? You’ve got me right where you wanted. I hope you’re happy. But I suggest you kill me now because as long as I’m still here I’m going to do everything I can to take down The First Order from the inside,” I continued.  
“See now you say that you loved me, I’m really struggling to believe that when you believe Snoke over me.”  
“I did love you. I gave up on the damn Jedi path just so I could be with you. But you never gave up shit for me you just kept making excuses.”  
“So lying to Snoke, to Hux in order to keep you alive was nothing? If Snoke finds out that I’ve been lying to him Cora he’ll kill me. Or is that still not enough?”

There was a moment of silence between us. Ben picked up his helmet and threw it at the wall with such force that the snout left a dent in the wall. Great now he was throwing a tantrum.  
“You run in here like you think you know everything but you don’t know shit Cora!” He spat.  
“I’ve been so wrong. I thought there was good in you still but you’ve definitely proved me wrong. Killing so many innocent people is fucked up enough but using someone’s fucking emotions in order to get what you want is a whole new level of psychopath!”  
I turned away from him, shutting the bathroom door in his face. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, my head in my hands. 

“Open the fucking door!”  
“Go fuck yourself!”  
He began slamming himself in to the door over and over. If only I had my saber. Ben broke the lock on the door, almost falling into the bathroom as the door swung open for him. Anything else he wanted to break? He composed himself, taking a deep breath to calm himself.  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I scared you,” he spoke calmly.  
“You didn’t scare me. It was just so fucking dramatic like all your tantrums. You gonna pull your saber out and start trashing the place?”

I was on my feet now, arms across my chest. Ben backed me up against the wall, pinning me to it. His forced his lips against mine, kissing me hungrily. I pushed him off of me and slapped him.  
“Don’t fucking touch me,” I snapped.  
He ignored me, pinning my wrists either side of my head and attacking my lips again. I was already breathless as he moved down to my neck, nipping at the flesh. I still hated him but the stupid feminine side of me was thinking if I went along with this then maybe he will actually have feelings for me. 

Ben picked me up, using the wall for leverage. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, tugging hard on his hair. He growled against me, his tongue invading my mouth. He tore open my shirt, kissing his way down to my breasts. He changed his mind suddenly and set me down on the floor. We made our way back into the bedroom without actually making it to the bed. We ended up on the floor in a heap of limbs. Ben forced me on to my hands and knees, pressing my face into the carpet. He pulled down the bottom half of my robes before freeing himself from his own. 

With one swift movement he was inside me starting a punishing pace, his fingers still in my hair. I moaned at the sudden roughness, he had never been like this with me before. His free hand dug into my waist, using it to pull me back against him with each thrust. I bit my lip, trying to keep quiet. I didn’t want him to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much I was enjoying this roughness. He pulled my hair back almost using it as leverage to fuck me. 

The sound of skin on skin and various moans and groans filled the room. My fingers attempted to find purchase in the carpet but there wasn’t enough to grip. Soon he pulled out and flipped me on to my back mentioning something about how he wanted to see my face when I came. He resumed the pace, lifting my legs so my ankles rested on his shoulders. This new position was a lot more pleasurable and I struggled to keep quiet. 

I however refused to look directly at him. I didn’t want him to think this meant he had won me back. This was nothing but a spur of the moment. It had happened. He reached down between us and began rubbing my clit in rough circles. My eyes closed and my hips began bucking into his touch. It didn’t take me long to reach my climax, crying out and my back arching. One final snap of his hips and he finished himself, groaning and gripping my thighs hard. 

He put my legs down and lay next to me for a while until his breathing had returned to normal. Then he redressed himself, picked up his helmet put it back on and left my room without a single word. I eventually picked myself up off the floor and removed my torn robes, changing into some simple clothes. That’s when I heard his voice in my head.  
_You’re mine Cora. I’m not letting you go no matter how much you scream or shout at me._  
Great. As if he wasn’t already possessive enough.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes i made sure to leave it like that just to upset everyone, im a horrible person

Chapter 14

Ben’s P.O.V

Hux had called me in to his office for reasons unknown to me. Probably something he wanted to complain about. I knocked before entering, finding various papers strewn everywhere as if someone had trashed his office. That or Chaise had left not long ago. But due to Hux looking infuriated I guess someone had trashed his office. Maybe once I found out who it was I would congratulate them. Hux was picking up various papers and attempting to find some order to them as I entered. He straightened himself, scowling at me.  
“Keep your _pet_ in line,” he hissed. 

So it was Cora who had done this. That didn’t surprise me. I crossed my arms across my chest and allowed him to continue.  
“She steps out of line once more and I will have her killed. I don’t know nor do I care what’s happened between the two of you but tell her to keep out of my damn office.”  
“Duly noted. Anything else you would like me to tell her?”  
“Yes. I want my damn hat back.”  
“You’re sure its Cora who has that and not Chaise.”  
His face darkened, “I’m sure.”

I left his office, heading straight to Cora’s room only to find her in the corridor. I grabbed her arm and pulled her in to a small alcove. She glared at me and tore away from me. I placed my hands on her shoulders, holding her still.  
“I told you that it meant nothing,” she snapped.  
“It’s not about that. Hux knows you trashed his office.”  
She smiled, clearly pleased with herself. I frowned, shaking her a little.  
“He said if you step out of line again then he will kill you. I can’t keep protecting you and making excuses for you.”  
“I never asked you too.”

As I heard footsteps passing, I pushed us further into the alcove.  
“It’ll be a quick way off this damn ship that’s for sure,” she said matter of factly.  
“You might not care about yourself but I do ok. I can’t lose you.”  
“You already have.”  
She pushed me away and stormed off. I remained where I was, the meaning of her words fully sinking in. I knew it was futile trying to get her to believe that my feelings for her had been and still were real. Once she was set on something there was no stopping her. I had to have her back, she was my only tie to who I used to be. The life that I wanted to lead again, the person I wanted to be again. I don’t think I could continue without her. 

I used to believe that any call to the light was a sign of weakness at least that’s what Snoke made me believe but she had opened my eyes. I felt that if I could forget everything about my past, my parents and Cora herself that I would be stronger but really it only made things harder. If Snoke really believed that I was the embodiment of the light and the dark side then why was he so intent on making me forget about the light side? I may not be able to turn my back on The First Order but surely I could still have some sort of ties to my past. 

Cora had made me feel human again. Of course as soon as I put the helmet back on that changed but with her everything seemed ok. Just being in her presence was like a sense of home, a sense of peace. I couldn’t lose that. I couldn’t lose her. She didn’t have to have be romantically involved with me if she didn’t want too. As long as she was my friend again at the very least that would be enough. I had to make her see just how much she meant to me. 

I made my way to her room, knocking before entering. She was sat on the edge of her bed, attempting to meditate. I apologised for interrupting her not that she cared. She glared at me and opened her mouth, probably to tell me to leave.  
“I know you don’t want me here but I just need you to listen to what I have to say. Once I’ve said it if you still don’t want me here then I’ll leave ok,” I explained.  
“Fine.”  
I removed my helmet, setting it down. I went over to her, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in mine. 

“I know that you’re still set on believing that I used you. But I never did, I never would. I don’t want you to turn to the dark side. You’re perfect just the way you are. You never had to give up on the Jedi path for me, I would have found a way to make it work. I’ll find a way to make anything work as long as you stay with me. For so long I thought I was better off without my parents, without you. But when you got yourself captured and told me you still believed in me you changed everything.”  
I had her full attention now, the anger on her features had faded away. 

“You made me feel like I actually mattered to someone, that I was good enough. You’re my only friend that I’ve ever had, why would I want to push you away by using you? I need you. I-I’m not strong enough without you,” at this point I was struggling to fight back tears, “I’ve never been in love until you. I love you and I can’t lose you.”  
Cora pulled me close, allowing me to rest my head in her lap and sob. She stroked my hair, her other hand on my back. 

“I want to leave with you, I really do but I’m in too deep now, if I run Snoke won’t stop until I’m dead and he won’t care who he has to kill in order to get to me. I’ve already put everyone at risk I can’t make it any worse,” I continued.  
“I’m sorry, I never should have believed his word over yours.”  
She got off the bed and knelt in front of me, lacing her fingers with mine. She smiled softly and kissed my forehead. She wrapped her arms around me and I continued to cry into her chest. She held me close, allowing me to get it all out. 

We sat together in her room for the rest of the day, talking. I wasn’t needed anywhere so nobody would come looking for me unless something bad happened.  
“Does my mother still…care about me?” I asked.  
“Of course she does. She’s your mother, she doesn’t care what you’ve done, you’re her son. Like me she still sees good in you. Being completely honest she was one of the reasons I had to get you back after your father left-“  
“What do you mean he left?”  
She shrugged, “I guess he had to deal with the situation in his own way. He’s never been good with feelings which I guess is where you get it from. I just hope he still doesn’t blame me seeing as he was the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father of my own, well I mean after Master Luke went missing.”

“None of you should blame each other or yourselves. My actions were my own.”  
“I still could have told them about Snoke when we were kids though. But you had to make me promise not to.”  
“At least you kept your promise, shows how much you valued our friendship.”  
“But don’t you think about what could have been?”  
All the time.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Cora’s P.O.V

A few months later

Ben and I were mostly back on track now although there was the occasional argument, which usually resulted in rough, angry sex. But aren’t healthy relationships meant to have arguments? In fact, we were arguing again. He’d had another bad day and felt the need to take it out on me. And I didn’t particularly like it when he did that so of course I wasn’t going to just stand there and take it. 

“I have a job to do Cora! If I don’t get that damn map before the resistance how do you think that’ll make me look?”  
“What I don’t get if why you want it so damn much! You can go around screaming and shouting, trashing all the rooms you want but I will not let you harm Master Luke or anyone from the resistance.”  
“When the hell did I say I wanted to hurt him?”  
“You didn’t but I’m sure Snoke does and I’ll do anything to protect him and the resistance. Even if that means going through you!”

There was a moment of silence. I hadn’t meant that last bit. Not that it mattered to try and take it back now. He was already advancing on me, pushing me down on to the bed. This was his way of asserting his dominance, telling me that he was in charge. As if this was his way of winning the argument. It was just a way to get out of it in my opinion. One of his hands moved to my neck, his grip tight but not enough to cut off any air, just enough so I knew he was in control. 

He could have used the force sure but he preferred the intimacy of touch, the power to squeeze the life from me with his hands instead of the force. He placed two leather clad fingers at my lips, waiting for me to accept them. I had no choice, sucking on his fingers eagerly. His fingers continued invading my mouth, making me choke a little.  
“Come on now Cora I could give you something much bigger to choke on,” he tutted. 

I glared at him and he choked me again as a form of ‘punishment’. Once satisfied he removed his fingers only to replace them with his tongue. He began to undress me, tearing the material from my body. I moved my hands going to undress him but he pinned my wrists down. He moved a hand down my body, resting it between my legs. I bit my lip, pleading with my eyes for him to touch me. He smirked, touching me as softly as possible. My hips bucked, desperate for more contact. 

Finally, his fingers slipped between my folds, circling my clit. I let out a moan, my hips bucking again. He stopped touching me and removed his clothes, letting them form a black pile on the floor. He was on me again once he had fully undressed, kissing and biting my neck. He forced himself inside me, starting a slow yet hard pace. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, digging my nails in to his back. 

He leaned down kissing a trail from my neck up to my ear. I could feel him smirking against me as I moaned at his actions.  
“How do you think the resistance would feel, knowing their only hope is fucking their enemy?” He whispered.  
I turned away from him, biting my lip to keep quiet. He used the force to turn my head back so I was looking directly at him.  
“You can try and fight it but we both know you’re not strong enough,” he continued to taunt. 

His pace sped up, forcing a series of loud moans from me. Ben quickly flipped me over and on to my hands and knees, continuing the pace. He gripped my hips, pulling me back on to him with each thrust.  
“I like this position a lot better. Don’t you?”  
I could only moan in response as he continued the pace. His fingers trailed up my spine and in to my hair, wrapping it around his fist and pulling hard. My fingers found purchase in the bedsheets, gripping them tightly. 

I cursed myself for being so weak and pathetic when it came down to his touch. He knew that the slightest touch from him could drive me crazy and that he could easily make me beg for it if he wanted. He moved fingers down to my clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in slow circles. I felt that familier tightness in my stomach building and he felt it too as he soon removed his fingers.  
“Not yet, what you said before hurt my feelings so I think this is only fair,” he spoke matter of factly.

I whined in frustration, angling my hips in the hope of some sort of friction to find my release. Ben tutted and slapped my rear so that I wouldn’t do it again. His pace had slowed a little as well, he wanted to drag this out. Or he wanted me to beg. Either one I wasn’t happy with. He slapped my rear again when he realised I wasn’t going to beg.  
“I think you need some lessons in obedience. You will beg for it although the longer you leave it the less generous I’ll become.”

Finally, I gave in, “please.”  
“I didn’t quite catch that.”  
“Please,” I repeated, louder this time, annoyance clear in my voice.  
It was good enough as his fingers returned to my clit, working my body in to a frenzy. My orgasm came quick, forcing a string of obscenities from me. Ben groaned as I tightened around him, which made him finish soon after. He pulled out and I flopped on to the bed, exhausted and still coming down from my high. 

I expected aftercare like normal, him holding me close to him, his nose buried in my hair as he told me he hadn’t meant the things he had said. None of that came however. Instead he flipped me over on to my back using the force and held me still. I needed a few minutes first before I could go again. He kissed my forehead and began to get dressed. I frowned, trying to my move but my limbs were held down. Ben turned to me once he was fully dressed, smiling to himself.  
“You’ll remain here until I have use for you,” he spoke.

Before I had time to protest he put his helmet back on and left the room, locking the door behind him. Ok consider me pissed off. He expected me to just lay here naked until he came back? What if I needed food? Or needed to use the bathroom? I began to fight back, using the force myself to try and get free. No use. I needed to calm myself and get some energy back first. I felt him invade my mind.  
_If you attempt that again there will be consequences._ Came his voice in a stern manner.  
I couldn’t think of what to say, either plead he let me go with a list of reasons why or get mad at him. Neither one would help my situation, he’d made up his mind.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, Smut, filthy fucking smut *hides*

Chapter 16

Ben’s P.O.V

I sat at the meeting table, listening to Hux drone on and on. I couldn’t care less about this meeting, I would rather be else ware. My mind wandered to the previous evening’s events, taking Cora on her hands and knees. How she had bent to my will, practically begging for me. I was brought out of my thoughts by her use of the force. She was trying to free herself. I was going to have to punish her for that. She continued struggling against my power until eventually she freed herself. My fists clenched under the table, the sound of leather straining. 

I rose from my chair, Hux glaring at me as I did. I excused myself and headed to my room. I stormed inside, closing the door behind me. Cora jumped at the sudden intrusion, her face falling. She knew she was in trouble. She was wearing a simple robe, long enough that it reached ankles. She hadn’t bothered to tie it so it just covered her breasts, showing me the space between as well as other things. I had to restrain myself from having her right there. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked.  
“I was hungry.”  
“I told you to remain where you were until I returned.”  
“Like I said I was hungry.”  
I removed my helmet, placing it on the table before using the force to pin her to the wall. I approached her, seeing a mixture of excitement and fear in her eyes.  
“You disobeyed an order, you need to be punished.”  
She bit her lip at the word ‘punished’. We hadn’t exactly been adventurous when it came to sex so far. I had only imagined what it would be like to abuse my power just for her.

It didn’t help the robe she was wearing was made from lace either, it did nothing to hide her breasts at all. It was flimsy enough for me to tear with my bare hands. I debated what to do with her first. I cupped her cheek, my lips barely brushing against hers. She arched her neck in the hope to reach me but I was already out of her reach. She let out a small whine at the lack of contact, attempting to fight against my power once more. My hand moved up her torso, wrapping round her neck. Not hard enough to stop her breathing but perhaps enough to make her a little light headed. She knew I would stop if she asked me too. 

My free hand rested between her legs, earning a small gasp from her. My fingers slipped between her folds, running them up and down her wetness. She let out a small breathy whine, attempting to buck her hips to get the friction she needed. My grip on her throat tightened a little as a warning and she stilled.  
“Good girl. Now tell me what you want,” I purred.  
Her cheeks turned red and she became a little flustered. Cora avoided my gaze as if she was embarrassed to tell me.  
“Tell me. Or do I have to force it out of you?” I threatened.  
I stopped the motions of my fingers and she let out another whine at the loss. Her mouth still remained shut however. Fine. 

I entered her mind where I was greeted with the image of my head between her legs, her fingers tangled in my hair. She tried to fight against it, replacing the image with anything else she could think off. I returned my fingers to her heat, her eyes closing as she let out a breathy moan.  
“All you have to do is tell me what you want and I’ll give it you,” I took a more sympathetic tone.  
My fingers circled her clit slowly, her eyes pleading me for more. My fingers moved down to her entrance, sinking just the tips in to her.  
“P-please,” she managed to get out. 

I cocked my head a little, encouraging her to continue. She remained silent except for the moans and whimpers. I continued sinking my gloved fingers in to her until they were knuckle deep, watching her face twist in pleasure again.  
“Please fuck me. I need it. I need you,” she spoke her voice unsteady.  
I sunk the rest of my fingers in her heat, curling them a few times. This seemed to have quite the effect of her. I knew if she could move she would probably be writhing against me, desperate for more. 

I started a lazy pace with my fingers, making her moan and whine. My lips moved back to her neck, sucking a purple mark in to her skin. I could feel her try and fight against my power but I simply swatted her attempts away, her mind was focused on other things to even attempt to win this power struggle. My pace quickened, forcing louder moans from her. She closed her eyes, biting her lip. My grip on her neck tightened a little, forcing her eyes open.  
“Let me hear you, let everyone know who owns you,” I growled. 

The blush in her cheeks deepened but she did as she was told, freeing her bottom lip. I could feel her start to tighten around my fingers, meaning she was close. I stopped the motions, registering the disappointment on her face.  
“This is what happens when you disobey an order. Only good girls get to cum.”  
“Please. I promise it won’t happen again, please,” she pleaded.  
I smirked, “I don’t believe you just yet.”

She let out a pathetic needy whine, removing my fingers. The glove was covered in her juices, I considered cleaning them off myself but she was the one who had made the mess. I placed the two fingers by her lips and she looked at me hesitantly.  
“Good girls clean up their mess and what else do good girls get?”  
“They get to cum.”  
“Exactly.”  
She took the fingers in her mouth, sucking them clean her cheeks hollowing around the digits. Cora looked me in the eye as she did this, she knew exactly what I wanted to put in her mouth instead. Maybe I would. 

I pulled my fingers from her mouth, trailing them back down her body before returning to rest between her legs. She relaxed, welcoming my touch, seeking her release. I slipped my fingers back in to her heat and resumed the fast pace, my thumb flicking over her clit. My name fell from her lips as well as various curses.  
“You belong to me; do you understand? Every inch of you is mine to do what I please with. You know I can take whatever I want.”  
She nodded eagerly, she didn’t care at this point, she just wanted to cum.

I could feel her tighten and I stopped once more. She let out a sound of frustration, her eyes begging me to continue.  
“Please Ben. Please,” she pleaded.  
“Not yet.”  
We continued this routine for a couple more times until there were tears in her eyes and her voice grew more and more desperate. I wrapped her limbs around me and sat on the edge of the bed, her on my lap.  
“You want to cum so badly then fuck yourself on my fingers,” I said softly, although the order was clear. 

I slipped my fingers once more in to her wetness and she began to move. She clung to my shoulders as she brought herself closer. It didn’t take her long at all. She cried out as she did, her back arching and her legs shaking from the intensity. She rested her head against my chest, panting and still shaking a little. I smiled, kissing the top of her head. We were far from done however. I had my own needs to tend too. Once she had regained some energy I pushed her down on to her knees.  
“We’re not done yet,” I spoke. 

Her hands moved up my thighs, moving parts of my clothing out of the way to get to her target. She popped the button and pulled down the zipper before pulling me out of my boxers. Cora leaned down and took the head in her mouth. I let out a soft groan, which seemed to encourage her as she took more in her mouth. However, her movements were unsure. Her first time giving head. My fingers tangled in her hair, I guess I would have to take the reins, show her how it’s done. I started a gentle pace, using her hair to pull her head back and forth. 

She surrendered and let me guide her. I let out another groan as my pace increased. I wouldn’t keep this up for much longer, my need to claim her was growing with each passing second. Although part of me wanted to keep fucking her mouth until I finished. Maybe another time. Her eyes searched mine for some kind of sign that she was doing well. I let out another moan as I hit the back of her throat and she made a small gaging sound, her eyes watering. 

I pulled her lips off me, picking her up and putting her back down on to my lap. I kissed her hard, my fingers still in her hair. She moaned in to my mouth, rolling her hips against mine. I kissed a trail from her lips up to her ear.  
“Ride me,” I ordered.  
Cora smiled, her hands on my shoulders as she lowered herself down on to my cock. She moaned and started a fast pace. I gripped her hips, trying not to buck up in to her but to no avail. I took control once more and rolled us over so her back was pressed in to the mattress. I wrapped her legs around my waist and started a hard and fast pace. 

She attempted to wrap her arms around me but I pinned her wrists either side of her head, continuing to fuck her in to the mattress. She could only lie there and take it, each of her moans getting louder and louder. I leaned down, biting at her neck determined to mark her. I left a series of purple marks on her breasts and collar. My hands released her wrists and moved down, gripping her hips and pulling her closer to me. Once again she attempted to wrap her arms around me but I held her down with the force this time. 

I could feel her begin to tighten meaning she was close. My pace didn’t falter. I leaned down, kissing her and taking her bottom lip between my teeth. My hand went between our bodies and found her clit.  
“Cum for me,” I growled, focusing on making her finish first.  
Her back arched and she let out a shrill cry as she reached her climax. I continued working her through it, kissing her neck as her moans became quieter. I reached my own, my fingers digging in to the flesh of her hips as her name came out through gritted teeth. 

We lay there for a few moments, panting and coming down from our highs. I still didn’t allow her to move however. She may have learnt her lesson but there were still things to teach her. And I had a meeting to get back too. I kissed her before redressing.  
“Try something like that again and things will be worse for you,” I said as if it wasn’t such a huge deal.  
I put my mask back on and left the room, locking the door behind me. I headed back to the meeting room and sat back down, apologising. Hux glared at me, shaking his head a little, before continuing. He pointed to a point on a map. Some planet named Jakku.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Cora’s P.O.V

After practically three days of being held down to our bed I was allowed to shower, eat, redress and go back to a normal routine. I headed to the training room, passing a small group on the way. They were talking about a recent prisoner that had been brought in. A resistance pilot. I felt slight panic as I assumed it could be Poe. But there were a lot of resistance pilots, it could be anybody. I would just have to find out for myself. I made a circle through the ship to get back to my room. I didn’t even have chance to look through the surveillance footage as Ben entered the room. I could tell that he wasn’t in the best of moods either. 

The door closed behind him and he removed his helmet. I expected his expression to soften as he saw me, no such luck. I just hoped I wasn’t pinned to the bed for another three days. I was on edge, waiting for him to make the first move, to say something, anything.  
“We have a new guest,” he finally spoke, breaking the silence.  
“I’m aware, you’ve captured a resistance pilot.”  
“Not just any pilot. The best pilot the resistance has. I just came back from interrogating him, funny how the first thing he asked was about you.”

It was Poe. Of course it was Poe. I swallowed hard, keeping my distance. I shrugged, trying to play off that I had no idea what he was talking about. His expression darkened.  
“Don’t pretend that nothing’s going on. Why didn’t you tell me before hand?”  
“About what?”  
“That there’s clearly something going on between you and the pilot.”  
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Was he really that insecure? He didn’t seem to find it funny however and I cleared my throat to stop myself laughing.  
“There’s nothing between Poe and I.”

Ben still didn’t seem to believe me however. He closed the distance between us in three strides. I hated how he was being with me. I hated being on the edge with him in order to avoid him throwing a tantrum. I avoided his gaze, I wish he would just drop the subject.  
“We’re just friends that’s all,” I spoke.  
“Like how we were just friends?”  
“No! I have no interest in Poe.”  
“Then you won’t mind when I kill him.”  
“Yes I will! He’s my friend that’s all. Why is that not good enough for you?”

He didn’t respond instead he turned me round so my back was flush against his chest. He wrapped a gloved hand around my throat to hold me in place. Using his free hand, he brought up surveillance footage. Poe was in a cell, restrained as Stormtroopers beat him. He wanted me to watch this in the hopes of getting a reaction out of me.  
“I thought we established that your mine Cora. Or do you need yet another reminder?” Ben asked, his free hand resting between my legs.  
“It’s been five years that I’ve been here, forgive me for showing emotion towards a friend I haven’t seen in that time.”

I was done playing by his rules. I was done letting him do as he pleases. I turned the surveillance footage off, I’d seen enough.  
“Shame, we were just about to get to the best part,” he taunted.  
Using the force, I pushed him back a little so I was free of his grip. I turned to face him, glaring at him.  
“I’m not going to tell you again. Poe and I are just friends, our ‘relationship’ is completely platonic. I have no feelings for him. I only have feelings for you although you’re really making me question them at the moment. You’re not the man I fell in love with anymore,” I snapped.

There was silence between us once more. Ben drew his hand back and slapped me so hard he knocked me to the floor. I remained there, stunned. Nobody had ever slapped me before. A brief show of regret flashed across his face. He turned and left the room. I slowly got to my feet, shaken by his actions. We had argued sure. But he had never been violent towards me. I couldn’t think about myself right now. Poe was in a worse state and I needed to get him out of here. 

I gathered some food, water for drinking and some water to clean him up. I left the room and headed straight to Poe’s cell. I entered the dark room to find him covered in sweat and his own blood. He was exhausted but as he met my gaze his face lit up.  
“Your alive!” He grinned, “they wouldn’t tell me anything.”  
I smiled, pleased to see him again even if it wasn’t exactly great circumstances. 

“It’s been that long I thought you were dead,” he continued.  
“Well to be honest there were a few times I thought I wouldn’t make it.”  
Poe frowned, focusing of my cheek. I looked at my reflection in the bowl of water. My cheek was bruised. I knew he had hit me hard but not this hard.  
“Did he do that to you?” Poe asked.  
“Let’s not worry about me.”  
I began cleaning the blood off his face, desperate for him to drop the subject. 

“So how is he? You convinced him to come home yet?”  
“He can’t come home Poe. It’s complicated.”  
“But you’ll come home right?”  
I quickly changed the subject once more, “you hungry?”  
“Cora.”  
“Honestly I don’t know, I love him Poe, I always have. I was just so blind to it before. I can’t leave him here. He needs me.”  
“We need you back home. Leia misses you, I miss you.”  
“I miss her too, I miss all of you, I miss home.”

I picked up the cup of water and helped Poe drink. I took the cup away before he could down the whole contents. I then began to feed him, alternating between food and drink until there was nothing left but the water bowl and the wet, dirty cloth.  
“A lot of people think that you’ve turned you know. Either your dead or you’re against us,” Poe explained.  
“They can try and turn me against you but your my family. I won’t let that happen.”  
“I knew you wouldn’t. Leia’s been scowling at everyone who thought you would turn.”  
I smiled to myself. It was nice to know that Leia hadn’t given up on me. 

“He thinks there’s something going on between us doesn’t he?” Poe asked  
“Yeah.”  
Poe chuckled and shook his head, “no offence but you’re not my type.”  
“Right back attcha. Listen, I’m going to get you out of here. I don’t know how yet but I promise you’ll get out of here alive.”  
“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to get in to more trouble.”  
“I’ve had worse. I’ll come back later ok.”  
“Cora we’ve found the map, the other piece of the map.”

I froze. The map to Luke. Nothing else mattered in that moment. I felt panic deep in my chest. What if The First Order had it now? That’s why Poe must have been captured. Poe could see the panic on my face.  
“It’s ok, they don’t have it. BB-8 has it. I made sure BB-8 got away before anything bad happened,” he spoke.  
“They can’t get it. No matter what Poe, they can’t get that map.”  
He nodded and I picked up the tray, leaving the cell. I headed back to my room and put everything back in to place. I know that Ben had probably been listening but I didn’t care. He was not going to stop me. He would have to kill me. 

I had no idea how to get Poe out of here. It would be impossible. I was still a prisoner myself in a sense. I would get funny looks when I travelled alone on the ship. There were certain areas I wasn’t allowed to go and I’m pretty sure the ships hanger was one of them. Especially with recent events, they might think I’m making an escape attempt. And if I was with a prisoner I would most likely be killed. I needed someone on the inside to get him out of here. But I had nobody. Everyone saw me as Jedi or resistance scum that should have been put out of my misery years ago. 

Later

I made my way back to Poe’s cell. However, my journey was cut short as I saw a storm trooper pull him into an alcove. Shit. I ran to that spot, to find the stormtrooper taking off his helmet. I frowned and so did the trooper.  
“Sorry ma’am the prisoner was being a bit of a hassle,” the trooper spoke.  
Poe cut in to defuse the tension, “the man says he’s getting me out of here. Come with us Cora. Come home.”  
“I can’t. I want too but I can’t.”  
“The base, we had to leave- “  
“I know, I watched it happen.”

Poe’s face fell and he took my hands in his, I could tell he would rather hug me but due to the cuffs on his wrists he was unable.  
“We’re on D’Qar now if you change your mind, come home.”  
I nodded, squeezing his hands and fighting back tears.  
“You’re not going to tell anyone about this are you?” The trooper asked.  
“Maybe I’ll tell Hux to piss him off, when you're long gone of course,” I smiled.  
The trooper just seemed to look more panicked at this. I squeezed Poe’s hands again and forced a smile. 

“You two get going, I’ll make sure you make it out ok,” I explained.  
I left the two of them to check the coast was clear before heading back to my room. Ben’s room being my room had its benefits. For example, from his data pad I could access and control a lot of things. Maybe not all things but most things. I began tracking their movements, they headed to the hanger of the ship. I frowned, what was this troopers plan? I watched as they climbed into a tie fighter. Ok now this was insane. There was no way they were going to get out of here alive. Not without help at least. 

I began to unlock the hanger, making sure they could at least get out. I watched as the tie fighter began to rise, nobody paid any attention to it. They were going to escape. That was until the tie fighter refused to detach itself from the bay. Shit. This of course got people’s attention. I couldn’t do much now, just hope they got out of there and fast. The ship eventually broke free and left the hanger with storm troopers firing at it and a few explosions being set off. As far as I was aware however they had escaped. 

I was worried however; Ben was probably going to blame me for Poe escaping. Whilst I was planning on breaking him out a simple storm trooper had beaten me too it. I didn’t know which would make him madder? The fact that I had wanted to do it, or a stormtrooper that had been manipulated from birth had seen sense and turned their back on The First Order. Either way he would most likely take his anger out on me. 

As if on cue he entered our room, clearly irritated. He removed his helmet and headed straight for the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on and breathed a sigh of relief. I suppose silent treatment was better than him throwing a tantrum. However, I needed to talk to him. I shouldn’t have to ask to leave for a little while but I wouldn’t exactly be allowed to just walk out as I pleased. I entered the bathroom and undressed before climbing into the hot shower with him. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and kissed his back. 

He sighed and turned to face me, cupping my cheek.  
“I’m sorry. I won’t do anything like that ever again. What I did was unacceptable and I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he apologised.  
That wasn’t quite what I was expecting but I’ll take it. I smiled softly and rested my head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.  
“I need to ask you something and it's important,” I spoke.  
“You can ask me anything.”  
Yeah you say that but because of how unpredictable your mood swings are you make it pretty difficult. 

“You need to let me go. Just for a few days. I have to let your mother know that I’m ok, that you’re ok,” I said  
“She won’t care about how I am.”  
“She’s your mother and a mother’s love is unconditional. No matter where you stand she will always love you.”  
“You really think that I’m going to let you go to my enemy when you know so much?”  
“I only know what you’ve told me and in case you hadn’t noticed you’ve stopped telling me as it causes arguments.”

I saw him consider it for a moment but he still shook his head.  
“I still can’t let you go,” he spoke.  
“Why?”  
“I don’t trust them. They could see you as a traitor.”  
“Some of them probably will but they don’t matter to me.”  
“I could give you a ship but they would see it as one of ours and shoot it down.”  
“Not if I send a transmission first.”  
“You’re not going to give up on this are you?”  
“Nope. You can make as many excuses as you want, I’m going.”  
“How soon are you thinking of going?”  
“Tomorrow. I promise I’ll only be gone two or three days. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Ben sighed, “I’ll arrange transport for you in the morning.”  
“No you said it yourself, they get a sense of The First Order coming then they’ll blow me up. Just drop me off on the nearest civilised planet and I’ll make my own way there and back.”  
“You're making things difficult for me.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
He buried his face in my wet hair which muffled his voice a little, “I’m worried you won’t come back.”  
“I’ll always come back to you.”  
“You have no reason to. I haven’t exactly been good to you lately.”  
“I promise you that I’ll come back. There’s not much getting rid of me now.”


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Ben’s P.O.V

Cora had left this morning, I had made sure to escort her off the ship myself and make sure no harm came to her as she headed in to the local town on a speeder. She was to use our force bond to let me know if she were in any sort of danger or trouble. I would drop everything for her safety. She was to also use the force bond to tell me when she had safely arrived at her destination. I knew it was futile to get her to tell me so I didn’t bother asking. 

I missed her there was no denying that. I missed her when I had to work during the day but this was different. She was god knows how far away and I wouldn’t be able to see her in the evenings like I normally could. I wouldn’t be able to see her and instantly be calmed. What if the rebels kept her as a prisoner? I would destroy all of them just to get her back. She was mine, nothing would stop me from being with her. Nobody would stand in my way. 

I retired to our room, completely undressing before climbing in to bed. It felt too big for me. Too empty and cold. Sometimes I would be working so late that Cora would already be asleep, the bed warmed and ready for me to slip in too. Some late nights she would try and stay awake for me, sometimes she succeeded, other times she would be sleeping in an awkward position, the book she had been reading on the floor. 

I rolled over to her side of the bed, the side of the bed that was pressed against the wall. My fingers traced the dent in the wall I had made a while ago. I sighed, turning on to my stomach and burying my face in to her pillow, which was laced with her scent. Fresh mint and hints of lavender. I made a small sound, it had only been one day and I was struggling without her. I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position. I missed being in her arms, my head against her chest, her fingers in my hair. 

_I sat beside my father, helping him pilot the Falcon. We’d managed to steal Kanjiklubs spice supply and they were pretty mad, firing at the ship. I quickly got the shields up before any major damage could be done. I’d make some repairs later. Right now we needed to get off the ground and make the jump to light speed. After various button mashing and lever pulling the Falcon rose. Dad prepared the ship for light speed, shouting back at Chewie to hold on to something. All the stars seemed to get bigger and brighter at that moment._

_I’d made the jump to lightspeed thousands of times but it still never failed to amaze me. The stars returned to normal and we were safe. We were close to home as well. Mum probably wasn’t going to be happy with the fact I was injured but I could be in a worse state. Dad sat back in his chair, letting out a sigh of relief. He turned to me and smiled. I returned the smile before heading off to the medical bench to patch myself up. It would be a lousy job in my mother’s words but it would be good enough for now._

_Dad came to find me a few moments later and sat down next to me. He cleared his throat, placing his hand on my knee. Whenever that happened it meant he was about to say something nice and those were very rare moments. I turned to him and waited for him to speak.  
_“I’m proud of you Ben. Really proud of you. Your mother is too even if she doesn’t approve.”_ _

I awoke with a start, unsure how to feel. It hadn’t exactly been a nightmare or a bad dream. But it gave me emotions and memories that I didn’t want. I shrugged it off, the dream meant nothing seeing as my father would never say something like that to me. I remember the look on his face when he first found out I was force sensitive. He looked betrayed and disappointed. He’d wanted me to be normal, so I suppose the idea of sending me away was easier for him after that discovery. 

I sighed and lay back down, staring at the ceiling. Cora would know what to say, somehow in most situations she could always say the right thing. I remained on her side of the bed, using her scent to calm myself. It would have to do for now. I could just talk to her using my mind but it had only been a day, I didn’t want to seem needy and she could be asleep, I didn’t want to wake her. She was grouchy when you woke her. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I went into the kitchen, carrying Kendra who was struggling to keep quiet. Her giggling was going to give us away and then we definitely wouldn’t be able to steal any cookie batter. Cora was looking out the window as she stirred the mixture, humming to herself. I pressed my finger to my lips as one last attempt to keep Kendra quiet. She covered her mouth with her hands but was still giggling. Cora turned to us and smiled._  
_“And what are you two doing in here?” She asked._  
_“I just wanted to see my two favourite girls.”_  
_“Are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact I have cookie batter in this bowl right now?”_

_Kendra’s hungry stare was giving away our intentions. I made a grab for the bowl and Cora turned away, tutting at me._  
_“If I let you have some there will be no mix left and what will I give your parents then? Also you know how Chewie gets when all the cookies are gone because someone couldn’t help themselves.”_  
_“Just a little bit, you need someone to taste test, I’ve got the best person right here,” I motioned to Kendra._  
_Cora rolled her eyes but gave in and let Kendra have a little of the mixture. Whilst Cora wasn’t looking I took a little for myself._

_“Now if you could make yourself useful and set the table before you parents get here that would be greatly appreciated,” Cora said._  
_I put Kendra down before wrapping my arms around Cora from behind. One of my hands slipping just under the waistband of her skirt._  
_“I have other uses I’m sure,” I smirked._  
_“And I’m sure you can show me. Later.”_  
_Kendra and I went into the dining room and began to set the table. Kendra was already using her force powers to set down cutlery on the other side of the table._

_I smiled to myself. I was finally happy. Cora and I had left The First Order, running away to the furthest reaches of the galaxy. Here we could be happy and not worry about anything. Here we had a family. Something I never thought I could have again. Now I was a husband and a father. This life was so much better._

_My parents arrived with Chewie a few hours later. Kendra ran at Chewie who picked her up for a hug. A few hugs were exchanged between Cora, my parents and I. Cora made everyone wait in the dining room whilst she sorted out dinner. Mum insisted she help and once my mother set her mind on something there was no stopping her. Cora surrendered and allowed her to help. Kendra was sat on my dad’s lap as he told her about his latest ‘adventure’. She listened intently until the very end when he pulled out a small jewel that he’d gotten for her. Stolen but she wasn’t to know that yet. Dinner arrived and went down well with everyone even after Kendra used her fork to catapult her vegetables at Chewie._

_Later once everyone had left, Kendra was in bed and the dishes had been done Cora and I headed to bed ourselves. I pulled her close and kissed her softly. She smiled, her fingers in my hair. If it wasn’t for her I would still be under Snokes influence. I owed her so much, I couldn’t possibly ever repay her for what she had done._

I jolted awake, rolling over to Cora’s side of the bed to tell her about the dream, but then I remembered she still wasn’t back. And I still hadn’t heard from her either. Now I really was worried and it was starting to show. I may have destroyed a few computers today and strangled one of Hux’s men which meant he was going to lecture me in the morning. Any time I had used a data pad there would always be surveillance footage of the ship's hangar in the corner of the screen, just in case she came in. 

That’s when the realisation hit me. She wasn’t coming back. She had found a way to escape and taken it and I had been stupid enough to just let her go. I felt my heart sink at the realisation that I was never going to see her again, never going to hold her again. She had finally given up on me just like everyone else. I may have wanted that five years ago when I saw her again sure but not now. Now I needed her like I needed air to breathe. 

I felt my chest tighten and I curled up into a ball, starting to sob. I was having a panic attack. My whole body was shaking. I closed my eyes tight, trying to focus on my breathing but it was hurried and short. I thought these were over, she had managed to stop these and now she was the reason they were starting again. I tried to think rationally, maybe she was struggling to talk to me through her mind. I could try and see if I got a response.  
_Cora?_ I tried.  
I waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing just silence. She was gone. I had lost her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Cora’s P.O.V

I had made it too D’Qar in one piece. Finding the rebel base on the other hand was little more difficult. Sure I had found it but it hadn’t been easy. It was all about finding the right people who were A. knew where it was and B. were willing to part with such information. I made my way up to the doors, the guards instantly blocking my path. I surrendered, letting them take me inside. I knew people would be cautious of me. I just had to accept it. They took me into a large room, which was filled with various generals and captains. A few people looked up and fell silent. Leia was one of them. 

I had to restrain myself from running at her and throwing myself into her arms. The others might see it as me trying to kill her. She smiled, looking me up and down.  
“You’ve gotten taller,” she said, breaking the silence.  
“Maybe you’ve just gotten shorter.”  
Her smile grew and we embraced each other. Leia led me out of the room and into an empty one so we could talk. She sat me down, still holding my hands in hers.  
“Is he alive?” She asked.  
I nodded, smiling softly. 

We talked for hours, Leia listening to me intently. A few times we were interrupted, people asking for Leia but she just waved them away. I had her full attention and it made me feel quite important.  
“Did Poe make it back?” I asked.  
“Yes. Injured but alive. He told me your feelings Cora.”  
Of course he did.  
“It’s been difficult but I do love him.”  
Leia’s smile grew and she squeezed my hands.  
“Do you think he’ll come home?” She asked hopefully.  
“I don’t know. Maybe, I mean if I could get through to him and get close to him then maybe you and Han could as well. Remind him of home, of his family. He thinks you don’t care about him anymore.”

Leia looked hurt by this and it was my turn to reassure her.  
“I told him you do; I mean of course you do. You’re his mother…where’s Han?” I asked.  
“I wish I knew.”  
I pulled her into my arms. She didn’t need to put up with his bullshit. What kind of husband leaves their wife after the loss of their son? A shitty one.  
“I can only stay for a few days. If I stay any longer he’ll come looking for me,” I explained.  
She nodded in understanding and she began to show me around the base. We came to a door and she gave me an apologetic look. 

“You have to understand that there’s people here that don’t trust you, that think you’ve turned to the dark side. I know you haven’t but I have to make those people safe. And they would feel safer if you were in a cell for the night,” she explained.  
“I understand. You’re just being a good general. It's fine. As long as it's comfy then I don’t have a problem.”  
I opened the door and took a seat on the bed. It would do. This was much better than a First Order cell that was for sure. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning Poe came and got me out of my cell. We embraced and he led me to the mess hall. We grabbed some breakfast and sat on our own in the corner. A few people glared at me as I passed and shook their heads at Poe. He didn’t seem to care however.  
“There’s a meeting after breakfast that the general wants you to attend,” Poe spoke.  
“She’s sure she wants me there?”  
“You know she doesn’t care what the others think about you.”  
“I just don’t want to make things any more difficult for her.”

We finished breakfast and Poe led me to the meeting room. A bunch of people were stood around a table, Leia at the head of the table. She smiled and I stood beside her as she began the meeting. She told the others what I had told her last night, of course leaving out details of my relationship with her son. She explained the weapon The First Order had as well as the true leader of the group. I stopped paying attention as a sick feeling in my stomach gathered. It must have been something I ate at breakfast. 

Leia continued talking and the sickness in my stomach grew. I began to focus on my breathing hoping it would just go away.  
Cora? Came his voice in my head.  
The sickness came to a head and I ran to the nearest trash can, vomiting up my breakfast. Now I had the unwanted attention of the room. I sunk down to my knees feeling weakened before vomiting once more. A few people left the room before Leia came over to me. She kneeled beside me and rubbed my back as I vomited again. She ordered someone to fetch the medic who arrived a few moments later. 

Leia and the medic helped me to my feet and led me to the medical bay. I was told to lay down on an empty bunk and I was too exhausted to protest. Maybe I was being poisoned again, that would explain it. The medic brought over some kind of device and waved it over my body. She then took a look at the screen as it beeped and her face softened. Ok so I wasn’t dying but what the hell was it?  
“Congratulations. Your six weeks pregnant,” the medic explained.  
With that I vomited again into a bowl on my lap. 

There was no way I was ready for a baby; I didn’t even want children. No. I had to get rid of it. I had no idea what kind of mother I would be, what if I abandoned my child like my parents had abandoned me? I couldn’t bring a child into this world. This world that was filled with so much pain. My child would not be safe in this world for so many reasons. It would be caught in the middle of a war where it would be forced to choose between sides. Ben was completely unpredictable so I had no idea how he would react to this news but something told me it wouldn’t be a good reaction. And if Snoke found out god knows what he would do. He may completely forget about Ben and consider our child more powerful. 

I was not going to keep this child. People could call me a monster for destroying my child’s life but it was my decision. It was my body. It would be for the best. I could see the happiness on Leia's face at the thought of a grandchild. I would destroy that happiness because I was so scared. She took in my expression and held my hand.  
“I know it’s scary Cora- “ She began.  
“Please don’t make me keep it,” I sobbed.  
“Please think about it before you do something you might regret.”  
“I’ve thought about it and I can’t keep it. I just can’t.”

Leia and the medic exchanged a glance and the medic took that as her cue to leave us. Leia took a seat beside me, her hand still in mine.  
“I was scared when I first found out I was pregnant. There was no way I was ready to be a mother and I think you can guess how Han reacted. You have every right to be scared but maybe this will bring him home.”  
I considered her words. Maybe it could bring him home. Maybe telling him that I was pregnant would make him realise what he was doing was wrong, hopefully he would give it all up in order to keep our child and myself safe. 

Later

 _Ben?_  
I waited, sat in my cell. I was going to return to him tomorrow, I just hoped I had the courage to tell him. He had every right to know, it was his baby too.  
_What took you so long to contact me? Have they hurt you?_  
_No, no. I’m fine. I promise._  
His tone relaxed a little, _please tell me you're coming back soon._  
_Tomorrow._  
I couldn’t tell him about the baby now. It wouldn’t be right. We had to be face to face in order for me tell him.

We said our goodbyes after I promised him once again that I would come back tomorrow. I was nervous to tell him that’s even I got to tell him. He might sense it. Either way I was not looking forward to it. If worst came to worst, I could still get rid of it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its short

Chapter 20

Ben’s P.O.V

I stood beside Hux, waiting for him to finish lecturing me about the destroyed computers and some of his men I may or may not have strangled to death. I wasn’t listening, it was only what I had heard before. I was more focused on Cora coming back, she had said it would be today and it was already late afternoon. She still wasn’t back. I had to calm myself and focus my thoughts. She would come back. She had promised. 

One of Hux’s men turned from his data pad and cleared his throat. Hux glared at him for interrupting.  
“What?” He snapped.  
“A speeder just entered the hanger of the ship. Shall we shoot the intruder?”  
“Let me see.”  
Hux snatched the data pad from the male and sighed. He shoved the data pad into my hands and told the male that it wasn’t an intruder so they were not to be harmed. He knew the consequences if Cora was harmed. 

Cora had come back. I gave the data pad back to Hux and left the room, heading straight for the hanger. Now Hux could also stop moaning about being docked for too long. I soon reached the hanger and found Cora who was surrounded by Stormtroopers. She saw me and her face lit up a little. The troopers stood down and stepped away from her when they noticed my presence. I had to resist rushing over to her and holding her. 

Cora approached me and we both left the hangar, going back to our room. I closed the door and removed my helmet, pulling her towards me. I kissed her, my fingers in her hair. I began to kiss her neck, removing her robes.  
“Ben I have to tell you something,” she said a little breathless.  
“It can wait; I’ve missed you so much.”  
I pressed my lips to hers again, my hands moving to the hem of her shirt. She huffed and took my hands away, holding them tight.  
“It can’t wait. I have to tell you now or I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to tell you.”

I looked her in the eye, waiting for her to tell me what she needed too. It must be important. She bit her lip and pressed one of my hands to her stomach. I raised an eyebrow confused. What was that meant-. Oh shit. My hand went limp and I pulled away. I had to remain calm. I could see how afraid she was. But how could I remain calm in a situation like this? There was no way I was ready for kids. I didn’t even know if I wanted them. 

“How did this happen?” I asked, my voice wavering a little.  
“I forgot to take some of that herbal tea.”  
“You forgot?”  
“Well I didn’t exactly plan for this to happen Ben. I don’t want a child either. I was hoping you’d at least show a little enthusiasm.”  
“You did this on purpose. You did it to lure me back to the light didn’t you?” I accused.  
“I don’t want a baby. I wanted to get rid of it when I found out! But I had to make you aware first. What kind of person would I be getting rid of this child without telling you first? It’s your child too. We both made it. But if you really don’t want it then that’s fine. I’ll get rid of it.”

She pushed past me, heading for the door. I grabbed her hand, pulling her back. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I was just thinking of my own feelings once again.  
“You don’t have to do that. I’m afraid. Afraid of what kind of father I would be,” I admitted.  
“I don’t want to have a child born in the middle of war Ben. Not where it has to choose a side. That’s not fair.”  
“I can’t find the words to make you feel any better about this.”  
Cora took both my hands in hers and pressed her lips against mine.  
“You don’t have to find any words. We’ll do this together. Maybe it will make better people out of both of us.”


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Cora’s P.O.V

My skin prickled as I felt a presence, one I wasn’t familiar with but the strength of the force around them was incredible. Wild and untamed but strong. Perhaps it was the prisoner that had been brought aboard earlier. I had overheard a few Stormtroopers talking about the prisoner and that Ben was interrogating them. Apparently this prisoner had seen the missing piece of the map to Master Luke. If that were true, I needed to get them out of here. I left my room and headed straight for the holding cells. 

The door was open, no guards outside. I was too late. My pace quickened and I noticed that the chair was empty. Either I was too late or the prisoner had escaped. I hoped it was the latter. I took off down the corridors, praying I found them before Ben did. I’d find a way to get them off this damn planet, I had too. I followed the pull of the force, letting it lead me. I steadied myself against the wall as I felt another wave of morning sickness make its presence known. I took deep breaths, hoping I could keep it down for long enough. 

I closed my eyes, taking a few more deep breaths before I felt a little strength return to me. I used the force to find the prisoner. A girl, not much older than nineteen.  
_Please don’t panic. I’m here to help you get out of here._ I spoke using my mind.  
_Get out of my damn head!_ She practically screamed at me.  
I tried to speak again but felt myself forced out. My strength left me and I hunched over, breathing heavily again in the hope of not vomiting in the middle of a corridor. 

At that moment Ben turned down the corridor, striding with determination. He noticed me and rushed over, a hand around my waist as support.  
“What are you doing out of our room if you’re in this state?” He asked, worry clear in his altered voice.  
I had to make up something and fast. He would be furious if he found out I had intended to help yet another prisoner escape.  
“I just wanted to stretch my legs,” I lied.  
Really?! Of all the things and that’s what I settled with? He seemed to buy it but helped me back to our room. He forced me to sit down and got me a glass of water. 

“If you need me to get Chaise to check up on you I can do that. Just someone here to make sure you’re ok,” he spoke.  
“I’m fine honestly. It will pass. I don’t need someone to babysit me.”  
“Just take it easy ok.”  
I nodded and forced a smile. He squeezed my hand, asking once more if I was going to be ok before leaving. I breathed a sigh of relief. Either I was a talented liar or he was really gullible. I attempted once more to try and speak to this girl but was shut out once again. 

Later 

 

Hux entered my quarters looking panicked. The resistance had won and the planet was going to explode. Good. I had heard all the commotion, wanting to get involved and go home. But I had a child to think about now. I had to stay safe in order for my child to stay safe. Hux grabbed me and pulled me out of the room. I growled and struggled, his grip around my wrist becoming vice like.  
“What are you doing?” I snapped.  
“Getting you out of here or else your lover will have my head.”  
“Get your damn hands off me!”  
“We can argue later, right now we need to get out of here.”  
For once he was right. I followed him through the ship, hearing various screams of his crew echo through the corridors. 

We boarded a smaller ship that already had a crew ready to get us out of here. I knew that we were going to Snoke, after all we had nowhere else to go. I’d be able to give that bastered a piece of my mind finally. But first I had to make sure Ben was on the ship and he was alright. Hux knew what I wanted and pointed me in the right direction. I left the cockpit of the ship and headed down the corridor until I found him in what looked like a medical wing. I entered the room to find him unconscious and covered in various wounds. A gash on his knee, another on his arm, a bloody wound on his side and another on his shoulder but the one that stood out the most was the cut on his face. That was going to leave a scar.

I knelt by his side and took his hand in mine. I glanced at the open door and used the force to close it as well as lock it so that Hux or Phasma couldn’t come in and piss me off. I suppose they weren’t going to clean him up either. I made a fresh bowl of water and a clean cloth before cleaning his wounds. I then bandaged the wounds except for the one on his face. I suppose he could cover that one with his mask. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. I stayed by his side until he finally awoke. I stopped myself from throwing my arms around him and smiled softly instead. 

He grumbled, slowly opening his eyes and attempted to move. I placed my hand on his unwounded shoulder before he could do any damage to himself.  
“Just rest. Don’t try to move,” I said softly.  
“Where are we?”  
“On a ship. On our way to see Snoke.”  
“The planet?”  
“It’s gone. But what happened to you? Who did this?”  
“The girl. She has the force. That’s how she escaped.”

I chose to remain quiet. If I spoke my mind then it would only cause an argument. We didn’t need that right now. I squeezed his hand and forced a small smile. The smile was short lived as I could tell there was something he was debating on telling me. What had he done this time?  
“What is it?” I asked.  
“I finally released myself of such a heavy burden.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“I killed him Cora. I killed my father.”  
I instantly dropped his hand feeling tears pricking at my eyes. I wanted to hit him, I wanted to scream at him, telling him he was a monster but he already knew that.

I left the room and found an empty bedroom that I decided was going to be mine for the remainder of the journey. I closed the door and sunk to my knees letting the tears flow, loud sobs racking my whole body. I was in far too deep now with no escape in sight. I hugged my knees to my chest, wanting to return home. I wanted to feel safe, I wanted guidance. But how could I feel safe again when I was the one who had thrown myself into so much danger as well as my child. 

Why had I even gotten myself involved with this stupid dramatic family in the first place? I half considered running to the nearest escape pod and abandoning him. My hands rested against my stomach that had begun to swell a little. I couldn’t leave, that wouldn’t be fair on him to deny him from seeing his child. Even if he denied our child their only grandfather. I knew it was only going to get worse however, Snoke would find out about the pregnancy and would not be happy. I didn’t care what he did to me, as long as he didn’t hurt my child. One thing was for sure I was not going to end up like Ben’s grandmother. 

I dried my eyes, forcing my emotions back. I had to remain calm, I just needed to mediate and hope I had a force vision. I got myself comfy on the floor and closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing and the feeling of the force flowing around and through me.  
_Cora._ Came a familiar voice.  
I knew that voice. I hadn’t heard that voice since I was a child. Master Luke.


End file.
